ballistic and started shouting that the man was an idiot. Now I knew why. Heâd been taken over by a bug!
Another face came up.
âThatâs Pete Sullivan!â Rosie sounded outraged. Pete Sullivan was, like, her all-time favourite singer. He was with this band called Death Metal that Mum didnât like her listening to âcos she said they were too violent.
And great galloping grandmothers! That was the face of someone Iâd seen on the telly. Heâd just been chucked out for using bad language in front of half a million viewers.
Oh, and that was the lady that was so mean to all the people that came on her show. Only last week sheâd made someone cry.
Different faces flashed on and off the screen. Some were famous. Some I didnât know. But all of them, said the captain, had been taken over by bugs. And thenâ¦
Then it happened.
I catapulted backwards on my marshmallow. Rosie practically jumped right out of hers.
âI thought that would get your attention,â said the captain.
Chapter Six
I could feel my jaw dropping, and my mouth hanging open.
âItâs the Queen!â The words came out in a kind of yelp. Was the captain really saying that the
Queen
had been taken over?
Rosie was hugging herself, rocking to and fro. âNow Iâve heard everything ⦠the Queenâs got a bug!â
âShe canât have,â I said. There had to be some mistake. Bugs in Buckingham Palace? âHow would it get past security?â
âAll too easily,â said the captain. âItâs more surprising how it got past the corgis. Weâre working on the theory that they swamped the place with suicide bugs in the hope that just one would manage to get through without being eaten.â
âOh, I love this,â said Rosie.âI love it, I love it!â
I turned, rather desperately, to the captain.If even the Queen had been bugged, what hope was there for the rest of us?
âAs of this moment,â said the captain, âwe donât actually have any definite proof. But take it from me, weâre ninety-nine per cent certain. Weâve been keeping a very careful eye on her recent behaviour. You may remember, a few months ago, that the Queen was in a health scare? She had to cancel her engagements?â
I nodded, doubtfully.
âI remember,â said Rosie. âMum said it wasnât like her, but it was only to be expected âcos, after all, she was getting on a bit.â
âIn human terms,â said the captain, âthat is correct. The inhabitants of your planet do have extraordinarily short life spans. This, of course, is why youâre still so backward ⦠you simply donât live long enough to learn.â
I could see Rosie start to bristle.
âItâs not your fault,â said the captain, soothingly. âYour planet is still in its infancy. You have a lot of growing up to do. But yes, your mother is quite right, the Queen is no longer young and it is not surprising if she suffers the occasional ailment. On this occasion, however, there was nothing wrong whatsoever.You may be interested to learn that she spent three whole days sitting in bed playing computer games and eating what I believe you refer to as junk food â burgers and chips, and chicken nuggets?â
I stared, goggle-eyed. The
Queen
? Eating chicken nuggets? In her
bedroom
?
Rosie gave one of her shrill shrieks of laughter. The sort that makes Dad clap his hands to his ears. âSounds a lot more fun than going round factories!â
âYes; the bug obviously thought so. Just as last week it thought it would be fun to throw bread rolls at a banquet given for the Russian president.â
âWe never heard about that,â I said.
âYou wouldnât. The Palace kept it very quiet.â
âMaybe sheâs just going loopy,â said Rosie. âPeople do, when they get old.â
âTrust me,â said
David Stuckler Sanjay Basu
Aiden James, Patrick Burdine