Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters Read Online Free PDF

are players. And while most of us know it’s total bullshit, we still follow the rules somewhat. My first experience with the good-girls-don’t double standard came after a hiatus with a high school boyfriend. Though both of us had seen other people during our break from each other, turns out I was the big slut. The explanation by my then-boyfriend was predictable: Men are supposed to be slutty and women need to remain monogamous. It’s in our genes, apparently.

    If someone tries to pull this argument on you, make sure to call bullshit. The whole men-are-driven-to-spread-their-seed thing is just plain archane. Read Natalie Angier’s amazing book Woman: An Intimate Geography for the hardcore facts. I promise it’s worth it.
    Since that long-ago high school drama, the sexual double standard has continued to be one of the most infuriating aspects of sexism for me. I’ve seen otherwise-great male friends turn away potential girlfriends because of their number of sexual partners; I’ve had female friends who, upon hearing my “number,” told me I must must must keep it a secret. You know, ’cause the more dicks you encounter, the quicker you go to hell.
    Research shows that women react just as strongly to erotic images as men do.

The Almighty Cock
    Rambling aside, why is it that penises define how slutty women are? What about women who aren’t straight? According to societal norms, it’s not even real sex unless a dick is involved. So should lesbians rest assured that they’re
not the nasty sluts their hetero sisters are? If I get oral from every girl on the block, am I slutty? (Or just smart?) Sorry, it just makes me crazy that whether I’m a whore is completely dependent on cock.
    Cock or not, if it’s one person or fifty—why all the shame? If you’re making responsible, informed decisions that make you happy, who cares. In the timeless words of Salt ’n Pepa: “If I/wanna take a guy/home with me tonight/it’s none of your business.”
    What’s strangest to me is that the same people who adhere to the rules of the double-standard game will admit its flawed logic. Everyone knows it’s screwed up; it’s just that most people have given up. Or if you’re a guy, perhaps you like the idea that you can whore around but “good” girls can’t.
    So it’s really up to young women to fix this mess; we have to take the lead. Young women need to not just ignore the double standard, but to actively fight it by being proud of sex. I’m not saying you should hand out flyers with all the names of your sexual partners and a play-by-play of your favorite positions. But there’s a lot of power in just telling the truth without any shame. If you lie about the number of people you have sex with, or if you call another girl a slut and mean it in a nasty way, you’re supporting the notion that it’s not okay for women to have sex when they want to, or with as many people as they want to. And please note that I’m saying when they want to. While I know it’s all too common, there’s nothing lamer than hooking up with someone for reasons other than desire and/or love.

    I know it’s easier said than done, but there will always be someone who will judge you . . . even if you’re not hooking up! I think we all know someone who had a terrible reputation that materialized out of nowhere.
    The only way to battle shame is with pride; we have to be proud of the choices we make and stand behind them. We have to take the power out of sexual insults like “whore” and “slut.” There aren’t many feminists my age who don’t remember musician Kathleen Hanna—of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre fame—scrawling SLUT across her stomach as a way to reclaim the word. We need to do the same thing, not just with the word, but with the idea. There’s nothing wrong with having sex; don’t let anyone forget that.

Beyond Bean-Flicking
    I always wondered why there weren’t more terms for female masturbation. I mean, men can jerk off,