From the Beginning Read Online Free PDF

heat and dust of the surrounding desert. Strange how nothing could change that, not even years in this drought- and famine-stricken land.
Yet she felt different sitting next to him—skinnier, frailer, more delicate than he had ever seen her. As different from the warrior he once knew as Somalia was from the cozy home she’d made for herself and their daughter in Boston after Gabrielle had gotten sick.
The silence stretched between them, fraught with everything they didn’t want to say. No, that wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say it—it was that he didn’t know how.
How did you apologize for all the mistakes you’d made, when some of them stretched back over a decade?
How did you tell the mother of your child that you still cared about her even though she’d cut you out of her life?
How did you reach past the cool reserve to tell her that you wanted another chance? That, this time, you weren’t going to disappear?
In the end, he didn’t have to say anything, because she broke first. “I’m not leaving with you, Simon.”
“Jack says he’s put you on sick leave. That you have to go.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a big world out there. There’s no reason our paths should have to cross again.”
“They’ve been intersecting for over twelve years now, Amanda. Do you really think it’s possible to keep that from happening again?”
She shrugged. “I don’t see why not. The world’s on fire—as usual. I’m sure there are a million places you could be right now, taking pictures. Reporting the news. America—with its stable government and abundant resources—isn’t exactly your speed.”
“Is that where you’re planning on going?” he demanded. “To America? Back home to Boston?”
She didn’t answer, but then he hadn’t really expected her to. At a complete loss as to what to say—or how to reach her—he dug into his backpack and came up with the last Twix bar. “You want half?” he asked as he broke open the wrapper. It was her favorite candy.
She glanced to see what he was offering her and stiffened, the blood draining from her face and her body turning to granite. When she spoke, it was in a rush and he had to struggle to understand. “I don’t want that!”
He pushed himself up, staring at her in bewilderment. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked these.” But even as the question formed in the air between them, the answer came to him and he wondered how he could have been so stupid. Again.
Twix had been Gabrielle’s favorite candy bar, too. She and Amanda had shared one at least once or twice a week—even when Amanda had been on assignment. She’d always carried a bunch of them with her, to help Gabrielle settle as they moved from one clinic—and country—to the next.
Shit, how could he have forgotten that?
He dropped the candy into his backpack. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”
“Like that’s a surprise,” she said as she got to her feet. Her voice was level, but her hands were squeezed into fists so tight that her knuckles were white. “Go away, Simon. Go back to wherever you came from. I don’t need or want you to take care of me.”
“Yeah, well, have you looked in a mirror lately? Because you may not want to be taken care of, but you definitely need to be. And, no offense, but it looks like I’m the only candidate for the job.”
She whirled on him. “Why are you here? Why are you doing this to me? Can’t you see that I don’t want anything to do with you?”
He could see it—and it was killing him. “Look, I’m not suggesting we jump into bed together—”
“Glad to hear it, because that part of our lives is long over.”
He ignored her, and the pinprick of hurt her words caused. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been expecting them, after all. “I just want to make sure you’re all right.”
“Why?”
“Excuse me?”
“Why do you suddenly feel responsible for me?” she demanded, her silver eyes steady on his. “You never have