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anything. Sonia told on me for some god forsaken reason. Maybe my moms saw Selena or Teresa sneaking out of my apartment half-dressed a few nights ago. I didn’t know when they left. I was passed out. Selena knew better then to try to stay the night. I have to find out what moms wants.
    Going over to the house sometimes felt like I was walking on death row. Moms was always busting my balls. I went in through the back door.
    I entered the empty kitchen. Moms wasn’t in there.
    “Mom!” I yelled and she didn’t answer. She just called me and her car is in the driveway. I walked into the dining room.  My moms was sitting at the dining room table with a somber look on her face.
    “Sit.” She barked.
    Okay, I did as instructed. What is her deal? “What up moms?” I tried to be playful and oblivious to her mood. But I knew this take no prisoners mug she had plastered on her face. This was the face of a mother about to twist her son’s balls.
    “RJ I got a call from your old Italian teacher Renee Mancuso.” Shit! “She said she ran into you at the grocery store a few days ago.”
    “Yeah, I did run into her, right there in the deli section.” Fuck! What did Mrs. Mancuso, Renee, tell my moms?
    “I thought we agreed that we would stay away from her.”
    “Did I agree to that?” I grimaced.
    “RJ don’t get lippy with me.”
    “Jesus moms, I didn’t go looking for her. You sent me to the grocery store and I just ran into her. It wasn’t planned but I couldn’t be rude and ignore her. You didn’t raise me like that and I could be her kid’s father.”
    “What if you are?”
    I shrugged. “So what if I am. I’ll never know. She doesn’t have any other kids. If that kid is mine maybe her husband is shooting blanks. If so that means I gave her more than just a few orgasms.”
    “I should pop you one for saying that. It’s not a friggin’ joke.”
    “I’m just being honest.”
    “I asked you a serious question.”
    “What moms?” Damn!
    “If her kid is yours, then what?”
    “Then nothing”…Was my moms waiting for more? Okay here goes. “That’s Mrs. Mancuso’s kid. If he’s my biological son then that’s great, I guess. I know he’ll grown up to be better than good-looking and he’ll have a lot of inherited swag.”
    “Why is everything a friggin’ joke with you?”
    I wasn’t sure what my moms was expecting me to say. I wasn’t ready to be a friggin’ father back then and I’m not ready now. Sure the timing matched up but Renee never came to me and said I was her kid’s father. So why speculate?
    “RJ, I know that Renee’s kid is yours.”
    I chuckled. “How do you know that?”
    “I have pictures. Renee told me after he was born. His name is Frankie Jr. She sends me pictures a few times a year. Her husband thinks that Frankie is his kid.”
    “Does Pops know?”
    “Yeah he knows. I told him how generous you are with your sperm.”
    “Why didn’t he say anything to me, man to man, de uomo a uomo ?”
    Moms laughed out loud. “You, a man. A man’s body, a goatee and a big cock don’t make a man.”
    “Moms I got a job, a car and my own place.”
    “On me and your dad’s property.”
    “Whatever, so you’re saying that I have a kid.”
    “No you don’t got shit. Your wayward cock created a life.”
    “Are you friggin’ kidding me? I’m the last one to know. Way to keep secrets from your only son. I’m putting you up for mother of the year.”
    “You little smart-mouthed shit. It was either that or I could charge Renee Mancuso with statutory rape. Her husband would put a bullet in your brain if he found out. I couldn’t tell you. You’re so stupid you might go and blab it to somebody. I was trying to protect my dumbass son. I’m not burying you because you can’t control your friggin’ penis. I should put a bullet in you for making me a fucking grandmother.”
    I stood and walked over to my moms. Sometimes her little rants made me smile and this time I was