stood next to Peg made me
feel queasy inside.
How long had she known this man?
The event had been some kind of company
picnic my father and Sam had put on for their employees. It was the typical
affair, with cornhole and beer and a bunch of boring attempts at fun that we
kids always hated.
There was a lake with some inner tubes,
and a rope swing. Good old-fashioned fun, as they say.
It bored all of us, and you could tell,
because almost all the kids had their faces buried in their phones, in most of
the pictures.
I suddenly laughed out loud, because I had
just figured out how weird it was that I had been looking at photographs, and
not digital images, of the event.
Who the hell used film, anymore, anyway?
There were even dates printed on the
photos.
The event had taken place about twelve
years earlier, when I was just fourteen.
(And, when I was about fifty pounds
lighter, I shrugged.)
Nigel came bouncing around the corner,
happy to see me, as always, and wanting his ass rubbed.
It’s weird how all dogs (and most men, I
suppose) like a good ass-rubbing.
I smacked his bottom a couple of times for
good measure, and then he came over and licked my face.
His dog breath was its usual horrible
smell, but I just sighed until he was finished and then went into the bathroom
to wipe my face and hands.
“A ladies’ hands proclaim her habits”,
after all, and I didn’t want to meet up with a client later on with my mitts
smelling like dog poo.
Once I came back to the computer, I
checked my schedule.
Hmmm.
Four more appointments until I could call
it a day.
I had just enough time to make the next
appointment.
I went back into the bathroom, and primped
and brushed my hair.
I avoided the scale, which beeped at me
menacingly.
I had stepped on it about four days ago,
and was dismayed to see I had added another two pounds!
So, doing the only thing that made sense,
I had kicked it then.
It slammed against the toilet, then the
bidet, and then the wall, and had sat there since, beeping its creepy beep.
The wounded scale seemed determined to
remind me that I was ‘pleasantly plump’.
Only, it couldn’t spare that many
syllables; it just kept on making that incessant beeping.
“Fat.” “Fat.” “Fat.” “Bitch.” “You.”
“Kicked.” “Me.” “You.” “Fat.” “Bitch.” “Eat.” “Me.” “Fat.” “Fat.” “Fat.” …
Fuck it.
It’s lucky I didn’t throw it in a tub of
hot, bubbly water.
That would show it who’s boss.
*****
I took a final glance at the mirror, and
stuck out my tongue at it.
The tongue-stud hole had almost healed.
That had been a huge mistake, and not just
because it hurt like hell.
I never even got to use the damned thing!
I’d figured maybe I could get over Derek
by getting under a new man, (not that I’ve even been under anyone, in that
way).
And, I’d noted all the cute young thangs
at the courthouse were getting nose rings, eyebrow piercings and one would
image other kinds of jewelry in intimate places, based on the number of false
alarms every time they went through security.
I mean, those metal detectors were ALWAYS
going off, and after a while, certain employees just got waved through by the
deputies. I guess maybe they’d had their curiosity satisfied in one manner or
another.
One morning, I asked this dude, named
Williams, why he’d let certain of the female clerks just keep walking after the
alarm, which was a clear violation of protocol.
He just smiled, with his big golden tooth
shining at me.
“Ms. Greene, I have it on good authority
that the young lady in question is not a security risk, and in point of fact,
merely has decided to exercise her God-given right for labial piercings,” he
said. “And, may I add, that not only was the piercing tastefully done, it was
in point of fact, downright tasty!”
He grinned, again, and winked.
I felt his eyes on my caboose all the way
across the lobby, until I made it into my