Fortitude (Heart of Stone) Read Online Free PDF

“Everything’s fine. How are you feeling?”
    “I’m good.” He tilted his head and studied me. “Mom, I
know you’re lying to me. What’s he done?”
    I chuckled softly and shook my head, “He hasn’t done
anything. But I need a favour.”
    His face grew serious when he picked up on my struggle.
“Anything.”
    “I need you to let him in.”
    “Mom…”
    “Please, George. It’s important to me.” I took his hand
and held it between both of mine, clinging onto it for my life, silently
begging for him to concede to my wishes. “I’ve never asked you for a single
thing. I’ve supported you through everything, even when you got Etta pregnant.”
He winced and I hated myself for doing this to him but I needed this so much.
“But now I need you, George. Please.”
    He was quiet for a while, his face blank as his eyes
roamed my face and tried to read me. Eventually he sighed and slid his fingers
through mine, “I don’t know what the hell is going on here. It’s three in the
morning, you turn up and beg me to see my dad. You’re the palest I’ve ever seen
you. Your skin is cold, yet you’re sweating and flushed. I’m not stupid mom, I
know when something’s up but I also know that I have never seen you this
serious, that’s why I know how important this is to you.”
    He sighed but smiled, “I’ll see him for you, not him, but
I can’t promise you anything.”
    “That’s all I ask, thank you.”
    He nodded. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”
    “I…” I swallowed the lump that had forced its way up my
throat. “I love you, George. I know life hasn’t been… easy for you, me and your
dad saw to that…”
    “Mom…”
    I shook my head to stop him. “No, I know how hard it has
been for you to accept the things of my past but you also need to know that
your father wasn’t to blame for any of it. Things happen in life none of us can
control, and the only thing to help us get through them is to find the courage
to let them go. You need to do that now, or you’ll never find your peace,
George. It will eat away at you until all that’s left is an empty shell that
will crumble in the wind. Bury the hatred before it buries you.”
    He gazed at me for a while before he nodded, “Okay, I’ll
try but you need to do the same.” I frowned at him in confusion. “Debora isn’t
Rebecca, and Rebecca isn’t Debora.”
    I smiled softly at him. “You love her very much.”
    “I do,” he answered with a nod. “She loves me for all my
faults. Her life hasn’t exactly been easy either but she’s strong, the
strongest person I have ever known after you and the way she looks at me gives
me the strength that I need.”
    “Then hold on to her, baby. Hold the fuck on as hard as
you can because I can promise you, when you have that love, the love that feels
like it could swallow you alive, then you need to absorb it into every single
fibre of your body, because one day, when life drags you into hell, the only
thing that will keep you fighting is that love.”
    His smile was soft as he gripped my hand hard. “And you
found that love twenty years ago.”
    “I did.”
     
    And now it was my turn to hold onto that love as hell
dragged me under.
     
    ***
     
    The cottage was cold but welcoming, the heart of her
already embracing me and accepting how this new relationship would be. I smiled
as though she could physically see me, as though she was already giving me back
the happy memories.
    The children’s cries echoed in the silence, Mason’s
laughter and his loving words whispered to me as visions of the past danced
around me, their silhouettes saluting me and reminding me I was far from alone.
     
    I turned up the thermostat, forcing the chill away. The
kitchen light flickered and the radiators gurgled but that just made this less
painful. She was faulty, like me, but we would both take those faults and
nurture them. Yet as a simple bulb would fix her, nothing would fix me. But she
knew