Forever My Angel Read Online Free PDF

me by snapping, “Actually, that isn’t enough.” Thank you. Glad I’m not the only one about to freaking lose it. “What the hell happened, Joyce. I mean, how—”
    My mother laughs as color creeps into her cheeks. “I think you know how. You were there, after all.”
    Oh, God. I so did not need to hear that. That’s an image I might never be able to get out of my head.
    “Did you know? When you left, I mean? Did you know you were pregnant?”
    My mother swallows. “No. When I came back to tell you, you assumed I was here for a divorce. And it wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about it, but I hadn’t made up my mind. But it seemed you had, and then I was so damn mad when you said I couldn’t see Axel that I just left, and didn’t tell you. I told myself I’d tell you about Warren when you let me see Axel.” She sounds almost like she’s daring him to contradict her, and as much as I don’t want to hear it, I think she’s telling the truth. Dad himself recently confessed that he’d kept Mom away.
    “After a while I started to worry that if I told you, you’d take Warren from me in retaliation, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing them both. So I...I stayed away.” Mom stands, watching me with hope in her eyes. My stomach flips. It’s like she’s talking only to me, forgetting everyone else in the room. Like I’m the only one who matters, rather than the one who didn’t. “I’m sorry, Axel. You’ll never know just how sorry I truly am. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just hope you’ll let me know you. That’s all I want.”
    My jaw twitches, and I tilt my head toward her.
    All she wants? What about what I want? Fuck, do I even know what I want?
    Not really. But I know what I need: Angel.
    I study my mother, trying to find words. She doesn’t look the same as I remember her, but in some ways she hasn’t changed. Her face is a bit longer, wiser, but her eyes are quiet, just as they always were. And her hands; they’re always moving, small motions that are barely noticeable, but constant none the less. Feeling the textures of things around her. And as much as I want to deny it, there’s love in her eyes. Love for me. But it’s too much, too soon. “I need some time. I need to try to wrap my head around this shit.” I need to get away from them all. The father who kept her away. The mother who didn’t fight for me. And the brother I didn’t know I had, who’s looking like he wants to pummel me.
    I need away from them all, so I leave without another word. After glancing into the kitchen to make sure with my own eyes that Angel is okay, I head outside. I’m hoping the cool air will calm my rage. Angel hates the cold, so I leave her inside under Chelsea’s watch. Right now I think I just need to be alone anyway.
    Isn’t it ironic? The person who instilled in me an intense fear of being left returns, and yet I’ve never felt more alone.

Chapter Four
    —-♥—-
    I didn’t really have a plan for where I was heading when I stormed out, but I'm not surprised to find myself at the small cottage that used to be my mother's studio. It's nestled in the woods at the back of our property. I wonder if she remembers it, and all the time we spent here. I used to come here when I wanted to remember her, when I desperately wanted to feel close to her. Being here now should hurt, but it doesn’t. As always, it calms me.
    I used this cabin as a retreat when Angel didn’t want me close, but I couldn’t stay away. It’s like something about this cabin lets me touch the untouchable. I breathe easier the moment I’m inside.
    Mom wants to get to know me. Has that ship sailed?
    I’m not ready to forge a mother and son bond, learning the things we should already know about each other. Every moment of it would be a dagger, painfully driving home the point that we don’t know each other because she left.
    And what about my brother? Do I want to get to know him?
    It’s his fault she stayed