Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) Read Online Free PDF

I felt a new wave of nauseating shivers. I noticed his feet next, black shoes beneath black slacks. “It’s been a while, Katarina.” He plucked the magazine from my lap and tossed it. “You know the drill.”
    I did know the drill . He stepped back and I heard the click of the door lock. I didn’t remember this amount of uneasiness though. I had blocked it out in order to preserve myself. My heart pounded in my chest, and I tried to remember my coping techniques as I stood like I did so many times before and took off my clothes. My body robotically knew the next step, making the whole process feel clinical, even when I wanted to cry and throw things. I let my hands move as I attempted to hide inside my body so he could never ever find me.
    I untied my shoes and tucked my socks inside. He was forcing me to submit, forcing me like he always did, and I complied, giving him what he wanted, power over me. Then I undid my pants and slid them down my legs. I folded them slowly, placing them on the chair I’d been sitting on. I was hyperaware of his eyes on me, but he never rushed me to remove my clothes faster. It was like he enjoyed this part of the process. He watched how carefully organized and systematic I was with all of my clothes, and got off on the anxiety-induced method I used to control each fold, each straightening and every perfecting of an iron crease. I slipped my T-shirt off next and folded it in the same pattern, setting it on top of my jeans. He occasionally asked me to take my bra and panties off, but I always waited for him to ask.
    “Look at me,” he commanded, and I lifted my chin slowly to meet his icy brown eyes. Dr. Holtin looked older than I remembered, wrinkles ghosting around his eyes and mouth. He gave me a superior smirk, and I thought it was creepy he could enjoy this, but his dark, haunting eyes flickered with pleasure. “Turn around.” I obeyed instantly, gradually pivoting on my toes and never moving my eyes, because I wasn’t instructed to. I watched his gaze drift over my body, slowly and deliberately studying every part of me. “You look good.” My eyes fell to the floor at his unsettling words. His shiny black shoes came into vision. “I have missed this. I have missed seeing your beautiful body, Katarina. You have broken out of your cocoon a beautiful butterfly, so pretty.” He paused, taking in a pleasured breath, a mixture of a hum and a groan.
    Fuck . I despised this man. He continued, “Every inch is perfect, and I take credit for some of it. You know, always making you show yourself to me, I am sure that is why you still have that girlish figure.” He went on and on, telling me how wonderfully my body was made, and I loathed him and his compliments. I never wanted to hear another compliment…ever. My stomach flipped over in the most awful way, and I tasted sour milk in my mouth. Then I did what I always did…I went numb inside.
    I opened my eyes when I felt his hands on me, which surprised me , because I was usually calloused to that as well. I watched his finger slide over my stomach and dip under my lacy panties as he walked around my body one more time. He tugged my panties off and undid my bra. He was attempting to intimidate me, but I didn’t care any more about anything. I convinced myself my body was numb to his touch, like it had always been. I stopped responding to the cold temperature of his hand a long time ago. I closed my eyes, bringing back that girl. Now, I stood naked in front of him, counting in my head slowly. I went into the address book in my head where I memorized phone numbers and addresses, repeating them mentally over and over until he was done.
    He like d to watch and seldom ever touched me. I learned when I was young to never interrupt his process, because he would start over, even going so far as leaving the room and reentering long moments later. I tried to remember the last time I had stood before him naked. I was fifteen; I had a broken rib