Forbidden Fantasies Read Online Free PDF Page B

turned the phone off. He shivered, but for the life of him, he couldn’t tell if it was from the chill in the air or the chill in his soul.
    If ever there was time for introspection, this was it. Earlier that morning, he’d told Jess that whatever was bothering her, they’d deal with it together. But he hadn’t expected this. Well, maybe he had. His insecure self—the one he tried to shove back into the deep recesses of his mind whenever it escaped—worried she might have had an affair and been trying to atone for it with sex, but he hadn’t truly believed it was possible. His wife was not the cheating kind. But, then again, he’d been a cop long enough to understand people had secrets and sometimes did things they normally wouldn’t.
    He stared at the creek for a while, then walked around the park in the cool spring afternoon, trying to burn off the vicious energy filling his muscles and his soul. After an hour, he still didn’t know whether or not to believe Jessica’s words, but he did know one thing. It had been completely unfair of him—and completely unlike him—to walk out without listening, without hearing all the facts first. Much of that anger roiling through him was directed at himself. He owed Jess the chance to explain.
    He’d accused her of cheating and not even waited for her to answer with words. Maybe her tears had been ones of disbelief. If she was telling the truth, he owed her a hell of a lot more than a mere apology.
    And if she wasn’t telling the truth, he knew this—an affair was not something their fifteen-year marriage could survive. He could forgive much, but not infidelity.
    Honesty compelled him to admit one more thing to himself. If Jessica was telling the truth, he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself for the way he’d hurled that accusation at her. And he wouldn’t be surprised if she told him to go to hell.
    * * *
    Jessica’s emotions raced between frantic worry for Alex’s state of mind, guilt for giving him reason to think she might be cheating on him, and fury at him for walking out on her after assuming the worst. After more than an hour of crying her eyes out, fury was in the lead. So when she heard his truck in the driveway— thank God —she was fired up and ready to go.
    Alex came into the room looking ragged. His hair was standing up as if he’d run his hands through it over and over again. His face was pale, his hazel eyes bloodshot and rimmed in red. He looked as miserable as she felt, and the evil part of her thought, Good.
    Jess didn’t get up from where she’d tucked herself into the corner of the couch, her knees drawn up, their fat orange tabby curled up on her feet. She didn’t hide the tissues or try to stop the tears that were flowing again.
    Alex stood stiffly near the fireplace, looking at their wedding picture. She’d looked at it too, earlier, when she’d tried to figure out how to talk to him about her fantasies.
    They both began talking at the same time. “Go ahead,” Jessica said as she braced herself for more accusations.
    “I shouldn’t have walked out without listening.” His voice was unsteady and gruff, but not really apologetic, and that ticked her off even more.
    “No, you shouldn’t have,” Jess agreed flatly. “Jesus, Alex. You didn’t even give me the chance to answer. You just jumped right to an assumption. A wrong assumption. After fifteen years together, do you trust me that little? What does that say about our marriage?”
    Her inner voice was rolling on the floor of her mind, laughing its ass off. Like she had any room at all to complain about lack of trust? She shushed her conscience and glared at him, wiping the damned tears away.
    “How about how you didn’t answer me? Did you want me to believe you’d been unfaithful? Was it that hard to say the words, No, Alex, I’d never cheat on you? ” He raked his hands through his hair in exasperation. “Do you want to know why I made that leap? Because you’re