For the Relief of Unbearable Urges: Stories Read Online Free PDF Page B

was even with the child’s. “With milking cows?”
    “And ducks,” said Yocheved before running away.
    “Roasted? Or glazed in the style of the Chinese?” he called after her, though she had already disappeared into the crowd, vanishing with the finesse that all the remaining ghetto children had acquired. He had never tasted glazed duck, only knew that there was somewhere in existence such a thing. As he wove through the scrambling ghettoites Mendel fantasized about such a meal, wondered if it was like biting into a caramel-coated apple or as tender and dark as the crust of yolk-basted bread. His stomach churned at the thought of it as he rushed off to find the Rebbe.
    The decree was elementary: only essential items were to be taken on the trains. Most packed their meager stores of food, some clothing, and a photograph or two. Here and there a diamond ring found its way into a hunk of bread, or a string of pearls rolled itself into a pair of wool socks.
    For the Hasidim of Chelm, interpreting such a request was far from simple. As in any other town where Hasidim live, two distinct groups had formed. In Chelm they were called the Students of the Mekyl and the Mahmir Hasidim. The Students of the Mekyl were a relaxed bunch, taking their worship lightly while keeping within the letter of the law. Due to theease of observance and the Epicurean way in which they relished in the Lord, they were a very popular group, numbering into the thousands.
    The Mahmir Hasidim, on the other hand, were extremely strict. If a fast was to last one day, they would cease eating the day before and starve themselves a day later, guarding against the possibility that in setting their lunar calendars they had been fooled by the phases of the moon. As with the fasts went every requirement in Jewish law. Doubling was not enough, so they tripled, often passing out before pouring the twelfth glass of wine required of the Passover seders. Such zealousness takes much dedication. And considering the adjusted length of the holidays—upward of three weeks at a shot—not any small time commitment either. The Mahmir Hasidim, including children, numbered fewer than twenty on the day the ghetto was dissolved.
    Initially circulating as rumor, the edict sparked mass confusion. The inhabitants of the ghetto tried to make logical decisions based on whispers and the skeptical clucking of tongues. Heads of households rubbed their temples and squeezed shut their eyes, struggling to apply their common sense to a situation anything but common.
    To ease the terror spreading among his followers, the leader of the Mekyls was forced to make a decree of his own. Hoisted atop a boxcar, balancing on the sawed-off and lovingly sanded broomstick that had replaced his mahogany cane, he defined “essential items” as everything one would need to stock a summer home. In response to a query called out from the crowd of his followers, he announced that the summer home was to be considered unfurnished. He bellowed the last word and slammed down the broomstick for emphasis, sending an echo through the empty belly of the car below.
    Off went the Mekyls to gather bedsteads and bureaus,hammocks and lawn chairs—all that a family might need in relocation. The rabbi of the Mahmir Hasidim, in his infinite strictness (and in response to the shameful indulgence of the Mekyls), understood “essential” to exclude anything other than one’s long underwear, for all else was excess adornment.
    “Even our ritual fringes?” asked Feitel, astonished.
    “Even the hair of one’s beard,” said the Rebbe, considering the grave nature of their predicament. This sent a shudder through his followers, all except Mendel, who was busy distributing potatoes amid the humble gathering. No one ate. They were waiting for the Rebbe to make the blessing. But the Rebbe refused his share. “Better to give it to a Mekyl who is not so used to doing without.”
    They all, as if by reflex, stuck out their