Floundering Read Online Free PDF

there awkward, picks his way through the clumps of grass back to the caravan.
    It’s enormous, I say, I bet it’s got a toilet in there, and a kitchen and a shower and everything.
    They’re carrying their poo around with them, says Jordy.
    Nosey parker, Loretta says quietly to his back. Where’d they come from anyway? What are you two lookin at? She ruffles my hair and it catches in her silver rings, pulls.
    Ow, I say.
    When she tries to get Jordy he dodges her hand.
    Don’t, he says. He walks back to the car.

    The couple are back in their caravan. I can see them talking through the windscreen, like the telly with the sound off. They’re arguing. They don’t even stop long enough to make a cup of tea. They indicate back out onto the empty highway. The gull is still there, hovering over nothing.
    Loretta crouches down in front of me, You look terrible, she says, and for a second I see her forehead crease into wrinkles, but then she smiles and tries to neaten my hair. It doesn’t catch this time.

    Back in Bert we’re driving fast towards the sun. I can feel the little scratches on my lower back. I lick my finger and rub them. I look – there’s no blood. Not even a scab, but it stings with the spit. I try to nestle into the seat. Wrappers crunch under my feet.
    I rest my head against the glass and it vibrates my brain. I shake my head, shake the vibrations out my ears. I see the shine of sunlight on a car by the side of the road. It’s the white and blue of police and another car with all its luggage out, as if it has vomited its guts up.
    Shit. Get down, says Loretta. Jordy and I look at her. I feel slow from the hours and hours of doing nothing. Get down, she yells at us. She pushes on Jordy’s shoulder. Get down.
    I scrunch down in the seat but too late. As we pass them I see the faces of two teenage boys, pale and wide-eyed, with long hair blowing into tails. The police officer standing there with his face in shadow under his hat. They could be brothers, them boys. Now all I can see out the window is blue sky. Get down, she says.
    Stop touching me, says Jordy.
    Get down, she says it softly, almost to herself.
    No.
    The seat is rough against my cheek. It smells of off orange juice – like a school bag.
    What’s the matter? I say.
    Nothing, nothing’s the matter.
    Can I get up now?
    Yep.
    I look out the back window and we’re heaps past them already. There are no cars behind us. No one chasing us.
    You gotta do what I say, alright? she says.
    I hear Jordy sigh.
    Alright?
    Yeah, I say.
    You too, mister, she says to Jordy. But he’s staring out the window like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen, not the same stuff we’ve been looking at for hours and hours. We come to a border. There’s just a big sign saying Farewell. On the other side there’s one that says Welcome. There’s a giant service station.
    Now can we get a drink? I say.

4
    What’s wrong?
    Shhhh, she says.
    It’s dark. We are all silent and Bert putt-putts – the engine cutting in and out. The highway is running slower beneath us. Loretta tries to pull over but when Bert stops dead we’re still half on the road. Loretta has her hands on the steering wheel, she looks sideways at Jordy. It’s so quiet now. The engine makes little ticking sounds. I wind my window all the way down. The desert smells nice. Bert’s headlights make the bushes look flat, like cardboard.
    Guess we stop here, says Loretta and then she giggles. The laugh sounds wrong, too high. We gotta get this baby off the road – out you pop, both of you. I hear Jordy sigh. I open Bert’s door. The three of us stand together out there, looking at Bert.
    We just have to push it a little bit off the road, says Loretta. Jordy, you drive.
    No, he says.
    Tom, you drive.
    I look up at her in the dark. You don’t have to actually drive, you just got to steer the car while Jordy and I push it a little. It’ll only be for a second.
    Okay.
    Get in the front.
    It feels