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still be seeing each other when she got back. She hadn’t made her mind up yet how she felt about it. She suspected the end was near, for both of them. In different ways they were both getting less than they wanted or felt they deserved. And once resentment set in, as it had now with him, the relationship never lasted long.
    She had called him several times anyway since she left, to keep the option open, annoyed at herself for putting up with him. But she hated to be alone again. It was fun being with him sometimes, although she had no illusions about their future. Without love to fuel their relationship, sooner or later it would end.
    Zack was forty-one years old, a sometime actor, and model. He had done several national commercials, and did fairly well. They met when he auditioned for a national campaign of Timmie O ads, and they started dating after he was turned down. He was a good sport about it, although she knew he was hoping she’d get him work one day. He mentioned it from time to time, which was uncomfortable for her.
    He was boyish and playful, and irresistibly handsome. They had fun in Malibu on weekends, although sex had never been great for them. She had learned over the years that narcissistic men were far less sexual than others. They were much more interested in themselves, which wasn’t a trait of Timmie’s. She was neither narcissistic, full of herself, or selfish. Those who knew her well, like Jade and David, agreed that she was a truly good person, which was rare. Neither of them would have said the same of Zack.
    Zack had never been married and was a professional bachelor of sorts, with no particular interest in getting married or having kids. All he really wanted was to have fun. As long as the relationship met those criteria or served some purpose for him, he was happy to stick around. He loved getting publicity with her, and was always on the lookout for situations and opportunities that would enhance his career. He preferred perks and lucky breaks to work. Timmie was the worker bee of the pair. Zack was not.
    The relationship was what it was, and she had few illusions about it. It was fun while it lasted, and sooner or later, for one reason or another, she knew it would end. Her relationships with men like Zack never lasted more than a few months. The periods of solitude between them lasted a lot longer. She was never sure which she preferred, settling for the wrong guy, or being alone. Neither were options she loved, and they were the only ones she’d had for years.
    She was hoping to keep the relationship with Zack going until after the holidays, because facing Christmas alone would be harder still. Being with less-than-perfect men who didn’t love her seemed less painful to Timmie than being alone for holidays and weekends. So she put up with the inevitable disappointments and irritations, as long as they weren’t too extreme. He filled a role in her life of sometime companion, and superficial lover and friend. He was handsome, charming when he wanted to be, and they often had fun when they went out together. He wasn’t a bad guy, didn’t do any harm, and once or twice a week, he kept her warm at night, which seemed like a good thing. And when it was over, as it would be inevitably, then she’d take a break for a while again, savoring her solitude, and convince herself she was better off alone. It was a dance she had done repeatedly in the past eleven years, she knew it well. It was the dilemma of most single women her age. There wasn’t a high demand for forty-eight-year-old divorcées. And success seemed to be a romantic handicap for a woman at any age. She figured it would take a miracle to meet a man who was undaunted by her success and her age, didn’t try to take advantage of her, and loved her for who she was, genuinely. There had been no miracles in Timmie’s life in a long time, and she was no longer waiting for one. She had long since resigned herself to dating men like Zack,