First Ride Read Online Free PDF

put those feelings aside. This has got to work out. I need this job. I need the money. I need to feel like I’m actually getting ahead in life and not drowning in the massive amount of shit that keeps raining down on me.
    I can’t risk anything fucking this all up, like his baby picking up on me having a small, temporary thing for her “Ol’ man,” as Dawson called it before. I’ll avoid him, steer clear, make sure it’s strictly an employee/employer thing going on. And I’ll make sure his woman knows it too.
    Sasha’s little face and chubby cheeks peek out through the front window of Lana’s place as soon as the telltale engine sounds of my old Honda pull up and park in front.
    It kind of sounds like a handful of screws being thrown into a blender.
    I wave to the sweet little girl with her infectious smile and the light in her eyes instantly takes hold of me. To her, it doesn’t matter what my car looks like or how badly broken down it is. It doesn’t matter how many bills with red warning letters stamped on them are piled up on my counter.
    It doesn’t matter how old my clothes are or that my hair hasn’t been done.
    It only matters that I’m home, that I’ve come back to her, and it makes all the other things seem … not important. She’s all that matters and right now I’ve got a promise to her to keep. I’ll pack her and her toys up and then take her home to our shoebox of an apartment to make some spaghetti and I’ll let her throw it against the wall to check if it’s done, because I know it makes her laugh.
    That laugh will make every bad thing that’s happened today fade away.
    The beast of a motorcycle that followed me from the club lingers for a moment, idling at the far end of the lot. Dawson’s got dark sunglasses on and he’s too far away for me to read his facial expressions, but I can see him, feel him watching me.
    My mouth suddenly dries as I realize … I like him watching me.
    Crap!
     
    ~*~
     
    “Again, again!” Sasha squeals out, kicking her tiny feet excitedly as she lies in bed, all bundled up.
    Contrary to what she wants, I close the small cardboard book and kiss her semi damp hair that still smells like baby shampoo. “Not tonight, baby girl. It’s past your bedtime, and you’ve heard it a million times before.”
    “Again, again!” She repeats, louder, and more demanding.
    “Bedtime,” I take the corners of her pink princess blanket and pull it higher, pressing it firmly at her sides and under her chin. “We’ll read it again tomorrow. Love you.”
    With perfect timing, her arms stretch themselves and her mouth opens in a long, drawn-out yawn, closing her crystal blue eyes tight to let it out. The bouncy, golden ringlets of hair that frame her face are almost completely dry from her bath and spread over her pink and purple pillowcase.
    One more kiss before I get up from her little bed. I blow her a kiss from the door just before turning the light off and close the door halfway. Her pink nightlight fills the darkened room with a soft colorful glow.
    I know it won’t be more than a couple of hours before she wanders into my own bedroom, either from a nightmare or because she’s afraid of the dark, asking to cuddle next to me. And, like always, I’ll let her, and she’ll fall right asleep.
    Until then though, I have a sink full of dishes and a pile of bills to try and sort out. I saw the electric bill on top and know that’s the first one that’ll need to be paid. Otherwise, I’ll be reading Sasha her bedtime story with a flashlight.
     
    ~*~
     
    “No, Lana. It’ll be too late. I’ll figure something else out. Maybe I’ll call a cab.” I watch from the corner of my eye as Sasha struggles to put on her little backpack.
    Her clumsy little arms finally find the straps and hoist the shiny pink sack up. It doesn’t have much in it, just some pajamas, her toothbrush, and her book. She’s a frequent visitor over at Lana’s house so there are plenty of toys