Finding Home Read Online Free PDF

laugh, but my single status proves otherwise. Farewell, my dear. I hope to see you at the New Year’s Bash, too. Maybe, I can change your mind about Ben.” He gave her a wink and disappeared into the crowd, making his way to the front doors.
    Ellie smiled as Jessica busied herself consolidating pie slices onto fewer plates to make room for new desserts.
    “Hal’s cute, isn’t he?” she asked. “He’s no Ben, though.”
    Jessica smiled. “A mother’s love…”
    She let her voice trail off as she scanned the room for Ellie’s handsome son. Both he and the blonde were gone.
    * * * *
    “Why are we here, Ben?”
    Lisa gave him a quizzical look that wasn’t at all romantic. Ben sighed and shook his head. He knew going to the ball had been a bad idea. Even the girl who’d pined for him for four years straight in high school, and who was currently single, had no interest in him.
    “I don’t know,” he hedged. “It seemed like the right place to go?” The hills right outside town had always been a romantic spot for teenagers and lovers because of their exquisite views. The full moon glinting off the snow and silhouetting the stark trees was majestic. Ben wished he could show Jessica then remembered himself and who he was with. He turned his attention to Lisa.
    Lisa’s gaze scanned over the landscape, and she refused to catch his eyes.
    “That’s always been your problem, you know?” she said offhandedly, still not looking at him.
    “What?”
    “You make up these rules as to what seems to be the right thing to do. You never think for yourself.”
    “That’s not true. I was supposed to become a farmer, and I very bravely set off to fail at business.” The statement was meant as a joke, but Ben couldn’t manage to put enough mirth into his tone to pull it off.
    “Exactly! You didn’t do what you wanted to do. You decided you didn’t want to be a farmer in Sauk Centre, and you did what seemed to be the right thing to get out of here. But you never did it right.”
    “No kidding.” He squirmed.
    “Ben, if you’re ever going to date that redhead you stared at all night, you’re going to have to lose the poor-me act. It’s not attractive. Hell, even I’m not attracted to you right now. That makes this the first time in…” She counted on her fingers and ran out of them. “Twelve years,” she finished.
    “How can I give up my feelings? You said so yourself, I’m not attractive anymore. I’ve got nothing to offer. I’m nothing but failure.”
    “You’re not a failure, just a child. Let’s look at the facts, okay? You left town without a solid plan as fast as you could. Then you didn’t talk to any of us, including your parents—making this homecoming extremely awkward, I might add. You didn’t do that because you were an adult with a great business idea. An adult would have kept his old relationships and remembered his family while trying to spread his wings in the world. An adult would have had a bridge to wander onto if he needed help before it got to this point. You were a child running away.”
    “Well, this is certainly building me up and making me feel not sorry for myself at all. Thanks, Lisa,” Ben quipped.
    “Feeling sorry for yourself is a childish emotion, too. Get angry at yourself, Ben. Not the way you are, but in an adult way. Look at your life, at what you have done. Then put it away. You can only move forward. So do it, and do it right this time.”
    “So why are you talking to me, if you’re not interested in me anymore?”
    “Oh, I’m still interested in you. Just not tonight. I don’t like whiny babies.”
    “Hey!”
    “Okay, that was mostly a joke. Anyway, it would never work between us.”
    Ben looked at her in surprise, noting the absolute seriousness in her wide blue eyes. She seemed completely sure. “Why not?”
    “Two reasons,” she said. “One, you’re going to leave again.”
    “No, I’m not.”
    “Yes, you are. Just because you didn’t do as