Finding Allie Read Online Free PDF

I actually talk out loud to it, but one time David found me telling the moon a story about my mom and he thought I was losing it.
    Now I just think my thoughts instead of confessing them to the sky.
    No one wants to hear what I have to say, anyhow. Not here.
    In Los Angeles everything will be different. I’ll have friends, and a great job, and Marissa and I will share an apartment. We’ll throw parties and she’ll become a famous fashion designer. We’ll spend our days off at the beach and run in the ocean and play on the Santa Monica Pier. What’s it like to rollerblade on the sidewalks and eat ice cream as you watch the sun set?
    I’ll find out.
    Soon.
    It’s so quiet out here in the desert. Hot and quiet. I don’t really need the sweatshirt out here, but I like to pretend I can still smell my Mom when I wear it. I don’t even wash the sweatshirt, not ever, because it feels like wiping away the last little bit of her I have. 
    A crackle of footsteps makes me jump. Then I freeze. The moon glows in the sky. The stars feel so close on this clear night that I could reach up and stroke one. Every sound thunders through my ears. I hug myself closer. Coyotes aren’t uncommon here, but I’m only a few feet from the front door. I’m not in much danger from animals.
    The sound isn’t coming from an animal, though.
    “Who’s there?” I call out. 
    I see the outline of his body as he steps into the light from the porch lamp. My heart skips a beat and my blood pounds through me. It’s Chase, and he’s walking toward me like he has all the time in the world.
    Like he’s known me forever.
    “Hey, Allie.” His voice is like whiskey poured over silk. My body starts to buzz and a frantic feeling takes form. It combines with my ball of anger inside and I need to move. Run away. Do something. Do anything to make this feeling make sense.
    Stop myself before I jump into his arms and kiss him.
    Chase decides for me. He walks so close to me that I can feel his own heat radiating out, drawing me closer. I take one step toward him. His hand reaches out to take a strand of my hair and pull on it, gently, like a line that tethers me to him. We’re connected and I’m buzzing, wanting more.
    “What are you doing here?” I rasp. My voice betrays me, because even I can hear how much I like him in my words. I’m clumsy and don’t know what to say. No guy has ever come to my house before, or touched me like this. A cold chill floats down from the base of my neck to my waist. 
    He flashes me that half grin again. My knees turn to liquid. He lets go of my hair and reaches for my hand, the one with the worst of the glass cuts on it. When he touches me, it feels like dipping my whole body in the ocean.
    “I want to make sure you’re okay.” The moon seems to shine brighter, Chase’s eyes smoldering, glittering with emotion. He penetrates me with his gaze, nailing me in place. I came outside because I needed to get away from my anger, needed to feel like I could breathe again.
    And here I am with him. Like I conjured him.
    Maybe saying his name three times really did make him appear.
    Maybe I have more power than I thought.
    When he reaches to stroke my arm, I let out a giant sigh and realize I’ve been holding my breath. “I’m okay,” I murmur.
    “I’m not. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day. Worrying about you. Wanting to see you,” he says in a husky voice.
    The butterfly in my chest turns into one hundred of them. “Thank you,” is all I can think to say.
    He just nods. “That was a tough scene.”
    “What was that about? Jeff’s never done that before,” I ask. All my questions come pouring out. I can’t ask Jeff anything. “Why did your biker club fight with Jeff and his friends?”
    He takes a long, deep breath. I regret my questions. His sigh is hard to read. Is he annoyed? Weary? Worried? Or, worse, angry? Chase’s shoulders rise, his chest expands, and he’s so muscular and intense. “I know