like a pretty good idea to Kyle. He could get credit for thinking on his feet and the other sergeants might even like him better. Maybe even the Chief. Then he remembered how the Lieutenant warned him about how Reg might try to trick him. Kyle was confused. What to do?
“I can tell you like my plan. I might even give you a slice of pizza before I deliver it to Buck. No olives, right?”
Kyle was at a professional crossroads. On one hand he liked the idea of taking credit for Reg coaxing Buck out of the house and delivering him to his brother all safe and sound. The images Reg placed in his head with a free piece of pizza were a bonus. Kyle loved pizza. What to do?
“I might even get them to throw in a free can of soda. Nothing like a free slice of pizza and a can of soda. You could even take a walk on the wild side and drink something with caffeine in it.”
Kyle came to his good senses. He was almost lured into Reg’s game plan of broken promises and human fuckery. He’d been warned by Walt and gosh darn it, Reg nearly had him. It was close, but Kyle was back on his A-Game.
“We don’t have time for that. Just do as you were told. Go up to the house and knock on the front door. Make sure Buck is alright and tell him to call his brother. Just holler if you need help.”
“Well, I don’t guess anyone can shout loud enough to be heard from that far away. You’re probably right. Just sit tight where it’s nice and safe. If I really need you, I’ll fire a couple of warning shots. Sound good?”
“You should only fire your weapon if the situation is dire, which is a fancy word to describe kill or be killed, understand?”
“You bet slugger. Just remember; no pizza for you,” Reg said.
Reg turned his portable radio down low and began his approach to Buck’s insane compound and all its maligned gadgets. A couple of small children were playing across the street and Reg told them to go inside their house and stay away from the windows.
He cautiously walked up the steps and was astonished that all the rumors of Buck’s home defense system were true. The signs and hair blower were there as assumed. So were the plastic clothesline, curling iron, and sharp nails on the roof. Reg felt some disappointment that there were only four clothespins on the line. He’d figured there would have been at least a couple of dozen.
Reg knew this was a real shit detail but there was payment. A confirmed sighting on something new. Another Buck Seals line of defense. The front porch displayed a wide array of thumbtacks lying on moldy, dry-rotted boards and there were several heavy duty mousetraps, minus the cheese, all cocked and ready to go. Lucky for me I’m wearing shoes , he thought.
He knocked on the door and it opened a little. The door hadn’t even been shut properly and Reg looked at the outside handle and noticed that bits of razor blades had been superglued to the doorknob. He realized Buck wasn’t dinking around; he was in it for the long haul. He was seriously nuttier than people knew. The pieces of razor blades were the clincher; something like that had to have taken an hour or so. The seriously irrational ones had a strong sense of work ethic. Reg was actually pleased to be on the porch and couldn’t wait to chat Buck up.
Reg pushed the door open a little more and was surprised to see lights on in other rooms. At least the power company had the good sense not to send their employees by to shut the power off at this madman’s house. Reg stepped inside after turning his portable radio all the way down. He didn’t want to set Buck off with the sounds of radio cop talk.
The house was surprisingly clean and updated on the inside. He’d been in other homes just like this one—houses that looked like they were falling down on the outside and nice on the inside. Property taxes on such places were dirt cheap. Maybe Buck wasn’t as crazy as everyone thought.
“Mr. Seals? Is everything all right? I got a call that