Femme Noir Read Online Free PDF Page B

about?”
    “Well, you see,” Jhoaeneyie trumpeted. “I did know Michelle. She came to me as a patient. I know all about her. I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to tell you anything.” Jhoaeneyie touched the side of her nose. “Client confidentiality, you know.”
    “But I don’t want to know—”
    “Sorry.” Jhoaeneyie winked. “Can’t help you.”
    “All I’m asking is why am I—”
    “That’s enough.” Jhoaeneyie shrugged. “I’ve drawn a boundary. You must respect that.”
    I blinked. “Uh-huh.” I lit a cigarette to burn disgust out of my mouth.
    Jhoaeneyie put both of her thumbs into her nostrils simultaneously and dug around for a few seconds before removing them and wiping whatever she found on her pants.
    “Idgie’s famous double dip,” Jack murmured. I coughed on a swallow of beer. Darcy and Ava-Suzanne were on the dance floor jerking stiffly like spastics.
    “I have spot-on intuition,” Jhoaeneyie said. “I can see into people right away.”
    “Is that so?”
    “I’m a complicated lady.”
    “She’s a complicated lady,” Jack echoed.
    I looked her up and down. “Nothing is complicated.”
    “Oh, you’re a black-and-white type,” Jhoaeneyie said, then embarrassed, added, “No offense.”
    “No sweat,” I said.
    “Good.” Jhoaeneyie laughed. “Glad you’re not uptight about that stuff. You know what I mean? Glad you’re laissez-faire.” She pronounced it “less-sez fair.”
    “And?”
    “Well, FYI, Darcy and Ava-Suzanne are real super ladies. They’re something special.”
    “Oh, I can see that,” I said. Jack sipped his shot.
    “So, I just want you to be careful.” Jhoaeneyie double-dipped again.
    “Why?”
    “Because I don’t want you to get off on the wrong foot in a new town. See, I’m an encourager. I see what people are about and I encourage them in the proper direction. Know what I mean?”
    “No clue.”
    Jhoaeneyie laughed and laughed at that, scaring several passersby. “You…” Jhoaeneyie gasped. “You are amazing. You’re hilarious. I knew we’d hit it off.”
    “I’ve got to go change,” Jack announced, standing up. “Save my seat, will ya, precious?”
    “Wait! Don’t leave me.” I clutched his arm.
    “I’ll be right back. Don’t you worry.”
    “Why do you have to change? You look fine,” I persisted.
    Jack looked down at himself. “I cannot hope to meet anyone as superfine as I am in this raggedy, wilted shirt. This tragic outfit is so eight o’clock. And just look at me!” Jack admired himself in the mirror behind the bar. “I am a mess.” He grinned seductively.
    “Come right back,” I commanded.
    “Of course, bobbin. My other shirt is in my car. You smoke as much as you need.” He left.
    I glanced at Jhoaeneyie, who double-dipped, her eyes twinkling. Darcy and Ava-Suzanne were headed back to the bar to sit.
    “I’m a witch,” Jhoaeneyie said, trembling with excitement as if presenting me with a gift. “Yep, Jhoaeneyie’s a witch,” she repeated, grinning. More patrons glared at the foghorn voice.
    “Is that right?” I stirred the bowl of peanuts.
    “Doesn’t that shock you?”
    “Not particularly.” I shrugged and tossed a few nuts into my mouth, which made me thirsty enough to finish my beer. The bartender replaced the beer with a new, frosted one.
    “I really am,” Jhoaeneyie added. “Although my daughter, Journey, isn’t sure she wants a pagan life, I’ve encouraged her to make her own choices.”
    “Because you’re the encourager.” I laughed. “That’s beautiful.” I smiled so hard it hurt. “Journey, huh?”
    “Yes, you’d love her.”
    “I doubt that.”
    “No, you would, I’m serious.” Double-dip. “She’s exceptional, you know what I mean?”
    “Darcy. Ava-Suzanne. How’s it going?” I clapped Darcy on the back.
    “I’m exhausted.” Darcy sighed with a smile. “I don’t know how I do it. I really don’t. With everything I do, I should be dead.”
    I said