Felix in the Underworld Read Online Free PDF

what?’
    â€˜Thames Estuary.’
    The member of the public shook his head, still apparently bewildered.
    â€˜The Denny Densher show. You were a first-time caller,’ Felix reminded him.
    â€˜It puzzles me’ – the member of the public frowned – ‘that a writer of your stamp, sir, should be listening to such a programme.’
    â€˜I wasn’t listening to it!’ Felix was losing patience with this lugubrious person who spoke extremely slowly. ‘I was on it!’
    â€˜Oh, of course. I should have remembered that you were the star. As you are here, tonight.’
    â€˜I recognize your voice.’ Felix had no doubt about it. ‘You sent me a tape describing a terrible experience! You were arrested.’
    â€˜You mean someone sent you a tape. I expect they thought it might be useful to you. It might give you some idea of what goes on in the real world. Writers have to learn from somewhere, don’t they? Oh, by the way, I’ve brought an old friend to see you.’
    â€˜I’m sorry’ – Felix signed his name hurriedly on the proffered book to end a dialogue which seemed to be getting nowhere – ‘there are a few more people who want books.’
    â€˜Oh, she can wait. Heaven knows, she’s waited long enough already. But, of course, your many admirers must come first.’
    So the member of the public stood, palely at attention, while Felix signed books for grey-haired men in anoraks and grey-haired women in trousers, school teachers, civil servants and social workers – and an occasional lawyer. As they gave him their names he wrote to Carol or William, or Annette or even Justin, and when the last book had been signed the silent watcher said, ‘I did so admire the courteous way you treated your public, Mr Morsom. Even those who came in from sleeping rough. I noticed your courtesy to them. I speak as one who knows what it is to doss down in a doorway. I have been reduced to that, Mr Morsom, in the ups and downs of my own past.’
    â€˜I’m sorry,’ Felix felt he ought to say.
    â€˜No, you’re not, Mr Morsom. Why should you be sorry? You hardly know me as yet. Now, let me take you over to Miriam. I well know what a busy man you are but I think you owe her five minutes of your valuable time.’
    Felix looked round for Brenda’s help but he saw her far away in Gender Studies, wearing her long green dress and laughing with the darkly clothed bookselling staff. So, alone and defenceless, he allowed himself to be led to an alcove where, beneath a notice which read Foreign Travel, a woman sat fast asleep.
    â€˜Miriam.’ The member of the public spoke in the firm but gentle voice of someone who’s taken a long journey to visit a friend in hospital. ‘Wake up, Mirry. Felix is here to see you.’
    Nothing stirred, then the woman dragged open heavy lids shadowed with blue make-up. ‘Felix,’ she murmured. ‘At last! Such a long, long time no see.’ Then she smiled and he noticed that her quite seriously protruding teeth were coloured with scarlet lipstick.
    â€˜So,’ she said, ‘Gavin’s brought you to see me at last?’
    â€˜You remember her, don’t you?’ said the hitherto anonymous man she had called Gavin. ‘Surely you remember Miriam Bowker?’
    â€˜Well, yes,’ Felix lied politely. ‘Yes, of course. When was it exactly?’ His way of dealing with such situations, which happened frequently on book tours, was to feign total recall and keep the conversation going until some dropped hint, some lightly touched reminiscence, focused his memory and a clear picture emerged.
    â€˜When? I should’ve thought you’d remember when. Ten years ago, Felix. Can you believe it! How time flies.’
    â€˜Ten years ago,’ Gavin agreed. ‘Isn’t it a birthday, Miriam?’
    â€˜Your birthday?’ Felix tried to think back ten