Fear in the Cotswolds Read Online Free PDF

away. And my money’s pretty good, too. We’re the new domestic servants, you and me. It’s like it was two centuries ago, when rich women paid other women to do the dirty work.’ Even as she spoke she felt a pang of remorse atthis small betrayal of Lucy, who clearly didn’t object to dirty hands at all.
    ‘I too have more duties,’ said Janina with a sigh.
    ‘I’m sure I’ll see you again. This is a very small village.’
    ‘It is not a village, not at all.’ The raised voice contained a genuine fury and frustration. ‘Here nobody cares for each other, no sharing, no place to gather. This church, today, I expected all the people to come. Instead there were six very old ladies, a man who seemed to be in some deep trouble inside himself, and another man, also very old, who talked aloud to himself. It was like a hospital – a place of dying. They are all there because they are afraid and hope for rescue. But they know it will not come.’ She shook her head in despair at the follies of the English that she had somehow fallen amongst. ‘I will not go there again,’ she added. ‘It was worse than my room in Bunny’s stupid house. Except for the decorations, of course. The decoration is a glory. It reminds me of Rila Monastery at home.’
    ‘Oh?’
    ‘You have not seen it?’
    Thea glanced towards the church, where a knot of people still hovered in the porch. ‘I’ve heard of it. I’ll come back another day for a proper look.’
    ‘Any day but Sunday,’ Janina said with a shiver. ‘No more Sundays for me.’
    ‘Cold in there, I expect.’
    Again Janina shrugged. ‘Not so cold as Bulgaria in winter. I come from Plovdiv, close to the mountains. There is snow.’ She stared wistfully at the grey sky.
    ‘Well…’ Thea tried again.
    ‘Yes, you must go. I too. No free time for me now until next Sunday.’
    ‘Surely that can’t be right,’ Thea objected. ‘What about the evenings?’
    ‘They go out, to see their friends, two, three evenings each week, so I must babysit. And why should I object? I have nowhere to go, nothing to do. The children like me.’ Her face became pinched. ‘Too much they like me. When I leave, they have to begin all over again, to like a new person. It is cruel. They are boys – they should learn about trust and security, if they are to make good husbands and fathers when they grow up. All these two learn is how to bear it when women walk away from them. It will be what they learn to expect – they will push everyone away from them. It makes me very sad.’
    Thea’s eyes widened. ‘You’ve really thought about it, haven’t you?’ she said.
    ‘It was my degree subject – psychology. I did my postgraduate course on how children learn toform relationships. I understand too much,’ she added darkly. ‘Too much for comfort.’
    It was, Thea gathered, all rather a shock for the poor overeducated clever girl, finding herself in the role of servant to a stupid woman. Could it be possible that she earned more in Gloucestershire as a nanny than she would as an academic in her own country? Why did she submit to such a miserable fate, otherwise?
    ‘Well, I’m glad I met you,’ she said, and then had a thought. ‘Maybe you could bring the children down to the Barn. There’s a donkey and some rabbits they could play with.’
    ‘Barn?’
    Thea explained, and a vague promise was made. They parted with wistful smiles.
        
    A rhythm established itself over the next three days, which left Thea quite contented. She did her routine shopping in the little town of Northleach, where life appeared to have stopped around 1955. The market square was bordered by shops selling basic requirements – bread, groceries and pharmaceuticals, with a post office added for good measure. The excessively large church, built with wool money, stood protectively to the north, but Thea did not visit it. The people she met were almost all over sixty, and she found herself imagining herwidowed