Far Away Home Read Online Free PDF Page B

please.” Not
meeting any success, she tried to move the arm her father had wrapped around
Katherine. “Da help me. I need hug. Mama, please.” In frustration and anger,
Aislynn began pulling at Brendan’s hair to lift his head. The priest and Mrs.
Nolan stood in shocked silence, yet neither one moved.
    Tim heard the
commotion and realized that he had not kept his pledge to Katherine. The very
day she charged him with the responsibility of Aislynn, he had failed to
fulfill his promise. Guilt moved him.
    Unfolding, Tim
emerged from under the kitchen table. He straightened, steeled himself and
entered the bedroom. The scene nearly overcame him. Katherine lay amid the
blood and filth. Her body was twisted in the stained sheets. Her legs and feet,
which he had never seen bared before, were partially revealed. Ashen,
stonelike, her head rested on the soiled, damp pillow. Katherine’s tangled hair
reached across her expressionless face. Aislynn was straddling her mother and
leaning over her father begging for attention. Swallowing hard, Tim took two sharp
breaths. With his eyes riveted on the girl, he said, “Aislynn, let’s kiss your
mother good night, and I will give you all the hugs you need.” He closed his
eyes and brushed his lips across Katherine’s gaping mouth. He could feel his
heart collapsing, as his throat made odd choking sounds, and he struggled for
breath. While rising from his kiss, Tim caught Brendan’s disoriented gaze.
Putting aside the jealousy he had held toward the man, the boy paused near
Brendan’s face. With as much empathy and compassion his young heart could
muster, he whispered, “It’s time to let her go.”
    Aislynn,
watching Tim, responded to his command and to his emotion. She kissed her
mother’s cheek and with bewildered sympathy, reached her chubby arms up to
embrace Tim. He lifted the child off her mother. With her legs wrapped around
his waist, Tim held her against his chest. He knew her hug was the only thing
that was keeping him from coming apart and scattering like autumn leaves around
the room. She was keeping him whole. Yet, he believed that everything in her
narrow life rested on him. He had to do the right thing.
     
    While the family
attended the funeral, Tim stayed home with Aislynn. For two days, Tim had been
in mourning; however, no one seemed to notice. Everyone was concerned about
Brendan and Aislynn; no one understood his pain. His parents expected him to
help prepare for the funeral and care for Aislynn. Katherine would not have
forgotten his needs. He felt disconsolate without her. A piece of himself was
missing. Tim had heard that when people lost limbs, arms or legs, they
continued to feel them. He felt this way about Katherine. He knew she was gone,
but he believed she was still there, somewhere. Tim put Aislynn into his
parents’ big bed for a nap and went across the hall to find Katherine.
    In the Denehy
apartment, he found Katherine’s belongings. Her rocker rested in the parlor
next to the window. He sat in her chair and rocked for a minute, stroking the
chair’s arm. The sun blazed, and at this time of the year, it streamed into the
flat. Katherine loved the sun. He rose and wandered into the bedroom.
    Tim looked at
the bed. The soiled linens had been burned in the stove. All evidence of the
tragedy had been removed, and a void remained.
    Approaching the
dresser at the foot of the bed, Tim gently caressed the lace covering the top.
His fingers ran around the mirror’s frame and came to rest at the daguerreotype
Katherine had placed there. Tim lifted the wedding portrait and squinted at Katherine’s
tiny, faded face. The blurred photo did not relieve any of his longing.
    Tim boldly lay
upon the bed and looked out the window to the sky. He closed his eyes. He could
see her, but he could not feel her. Stretching his arms, he ran his hands over
the covers. He thought about her last touch, her cool fingers and her soft
lips. Tim felt a need for her run the