important than the authors intention. In fact, nothing in life has meaning. Reality is subjective. Values and truth are subjective.
Life itself is a kind of illusion. Blah, blab, blah, lets have another Scotch.
The distant mountains sure looked real. The roof under his butt felt real, too, and if he fell headfirst onto the driveway, he would either be killed or crippled for life, which wouldnt prove a thing to the intractable Dr. Decon, but which was enough reality for Dusty.
Is he why youre afraid of heights, Skeet asked, because of something he did?
WhoDr. Decon? Nah. Heights just bother me, thats all.
Sweetly earnest in his concern, Skeet said, You could find out why. Talk to a psychiatrist.
I think Ill just go home and talk to my dog.
Ive had a lot of therapy.
And its done wonders for you, hasnt it?
Skeet laughed so hard that snot ran out of his nose. Sorry. Dusty withdrew a Kleenex from a pocket and offered it. As Skeet blew his nose, he said, Well, me... now Im a different story. Longer than I can remember, Ive been afraid of everything.
I know.
Getting up, going to bed, and everything between. But Im not afraid now. He finished with the Kleenex and held it out to Dusty
Keep it, Dusty said.
Thanks. Hey, you know why Im not afraid anymore?
Because youre shitfaced?
Skeet laughed shakily and nodded. But also because Ive seen the Other Side.
The other side of what?
Capital 0, capital S. I had a visitation from an angel of death, and he showed me whats waiting for us.
Youre an atheist, Dusty reminded him.
Not anymore. Im past all that. Which should make you happy, huh, bro?
How easy for you. Pop a pill, find God.
Skeets grin emphasized the skull beneath the skin, which was frighteningly close to the surface in his gaunt countenance. Cool, huh? Anyway, the angel instructed me to jump, so Im jumping.
Abruptly the wind rose, skirling across the roof, chillier than before, bringing with it the briny scent of the distant seaand then briefly, like an augury, came the rotten stink of decomposing seaweed.
Standing up and negotiating a steeply pitched roof in this blustery air was a challenge that Dusty did not want to face, so he prayed that the wind would diminish soon.
Taking a risk, assuming that Skeets suicidal impulse actually arose, as he insisted, from his newfound fearlessness, and hoping that a good dose of terror would make the kid want to cling to life again, Dusty said, Were only forty feet off the ground, and from the edge of the roof to the pavement, its probably only thirty or thirty-two. Jumping would be a classic feeb decision, because what youre going to do is maybe end up not dead but paralyzed for life, hooked up to machines for the next forty years, helpless.
No, Ill die, Skeet said almost perkily. You cant be sure.
Dont get an attitude with me, Dusty. Im not getting an attitude.
Just denying you have an attitude is an attitude.
Then Ive got an attitude.
See.
Dusty took a deep breath to steady his nerves. This is so lame. Lets get down from here. Ill drive you over to the Four Seasons Hotel in Fashion Island. We can go all the way up to the roof, fourteen, fifteen floors, whatever it is, and you can jump from there, so youll be sure itll work.
You wouldnt really.
Sure. If youre going to do this, then do it right. Dont screw this up, too.
Dusty Im smacked, but Im not stupid.
Motherwell and the security guard came out of the house with a king-size mattress.
As they struggled with that ungainly object, they had a Laurel and Hardy quality that was amusing, but Skeets laugh sounded utterly humorless to Dusty.
Down in the driveway, the two men dropped their burden squarely atop the pair of smaller mattresses that were already on the tarp.
Motherwell looked up at Dusty