Falling Leaves: The True Story of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter Read Online Free PDF

evenings there were black-outs and curfews. Special permits were needed to cross key points at night, especially those conduit streets and bridges leading from the concessions into Japanese-patrolled
    areas.
    My mother’s labour pains started at four in the morning on
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    30 November 1937. Father did not possess the papers required to drive her past Japanese sentries on the way to the Women’s Hospital. However, Dr Ting had been issued with a pass allowing her to travel freely at night. Her chauffeur-driven black Ford, flying a small US flag given to her by the American consulate, arrived at my parents’ home an hour later. My birth was uneventful.
    Dr Ting advised Father to transfer mother and baby to her hospital for a check-up and a few days’ rest. Father demurred. The birth had been so smooth and rapid. He considered it unnecessary. He also rejected Dr Ting’s advice to employ a nurse to care for my mother. He thought he could look after her himself, with the able assistance of Aunt Baba, who happened to be visiting at the time. Besides, trained nurses were expensive. A special bell was placed by mother’s bedside so that she could call for Father as needed. Mother was weak, so instead of using the bathroom down the hall, it was easier to slip a bedpan under her. Afterwards Father would wipe her with a towel held in his bare, unwashed hands. Mother thought Father knew best. Father was convinced he knew best.
    The headaches and fever started three days after I was born. Mother’s temperature soared to 103 degrees and stayed there. Her lips were cracked and blistered. Her mind became cloudy and she was incoherent. Dr Ting diagnosed puerperal fever. In those days before penicillin this was virtually a death sentence.
    Dr Ting immediately admitted yiy mother to the Women’s Hospital. She was given fluids intravenously and various medications were administered in a desperate attempt to save her life. Her temperature rose to 106 degrees. She became delirious, refused all food and drink, and tried to pull out all her tubes, making wild accusations that Dr Ting was trying to imprison and poison her. Dr Ting realized that the prognosis was hopeless and finally gave permission for her to go home to die.
    Her condition worsened. Doctor after doctor was consulted but to no avail. A dark cloud hung over the entire family.
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    Towards the end there was a short period of lucidity. With Father weeping at her side, she spoke to her parents-in-law and saw her children one by one, calling out each name with yearning. When Aunt Baba came in to say goodbye, Mother was weak but clear-headed. She smiled at my aunt and asked for a hot dog. Then she added sadly, ’I’ve run out of time. After I’m gone, please help look after our little friend here who will never know her mother.’
    My mother died two weeks after my birth, with five doctors at her bedside. She was only thirty years old and I have no idea what she looked like. I have never seen her photograph.
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CHAPTER 4
Xiu Se Ke Can
    Surpassing Loveliness Good Enough to Feast Upon
    After my mother’s death, Grandmother and Father persuaded Aunt Baba to resign her job at the Women’s Bank and stay on in Tianjin to take charge of the household. She was put on the payroll of Joseph Yen & Company at the same salary that she had been paid by Grand Aunt. She nagged and harried the servants and ensured that the house ran along similar lines as before. She became our surrogate mother, worrying about out meals, clothing, schooling and health. An invisible silken handcuff was thus slipped around her willing wrists, evaporating her chances of marriage and a family of her own. In those days, women in China were expected to sublimate their own desires to the common good of the family. In return, the men felt honour-bound to protect and support them for the rest of their lives.
    Marriage brokers again clustered around, not for Aunt Baba, but for her newly widowed brother. The double standard accorded