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normal, and slipped the envelope into my purse to post the next day.
    The rest of the week passed slowly and with unease, and even the flurry of graduation dress orders didn’t lift my spirits. My father’s behavior was still cool; Marie was either gone or preoccupied with Everette. I longed to reach out to my lover, but counseled myself that if he wanted to see me, he’d find a way. Every hour that he did not increased my hurt.
    When Sunday arrived, something in my father seemed to shift. After church, he surprised me by looking up over the top of his copy of
National Geographic
and announcing that he wanted to hike Bash Bish Falls before the big thaw.
    “John Hagerty plans on motoring to the area with his wife for a luncheon with his family,” said my father. “He said they could give us a lift up and back.”
    “We should probably wait until after the thaw,” I said. “It’s dangerous up there, especially this time of year with all of that half-melted ice.” Never mind that I would be able to think only of what I’d done there, and the idea of visiting that spot with my father made me ill.
    “It will be good for all of us,” he continued, never taking his eyes off me. “We should get out for some fresh air.”
    “I don’t want to go,” said Marie.
    “Why not?”
    “Because Everette wants to take me to a picture at the Crandell Theater.
The High School Hero
with Nick Stuart and gorgeous Sally Phipps is playing, and I’d like to say yes. If it’s all right with you, that is.” She widened her eyes like those of a Kewpie doll.
    At the mention of Everette, I stiffened. Marie had no idea what it was like to have to hide love, the way it cast a shadow over every moment of the day, the way one wore its absence like grief. One sometimes forgot, but then would suddenly remember, and the pain and anger would return.
    “That’s fine,” my father said. “I appreciate your asking my permission.”
    He turned on me a steely gaze that made me want to crawl under the table. Why did he have to torture me? I’d rarely disobeyed him before the night of the Follies, whereas Marie had gone her own way countless times. It wasn’t fair that one indiscretion brought my father’s anger upon me so harshly.
    “We have all of those graduation dresses to make,” I said. “We’ll never get them done if we don’t work through Sunday.”
    “I’ll work later into the night,” Marie said.
    “Don’t give her trouble, Laura,” he said.
    Marie stood, dropped her sewing on her chair, and climbed the stairs to primp before her date. My father walked to the closet and pulled out his hiking boots, his thick coat and hat, and his walking stick. He tied his snowshoes with a leather strap and flung them over his shoulder. I stood and walked to the kitchen to pack a lunch for him, muttering my frustrations under my breath. When I returned to the front of the shop, Marie had already left to meet Everette. I was glad I didn’t have to see her fawn over him, or the way they could waltz out the front door to Main Street, holding hands.
    I held out the pouch to my father, and he fastened it to his belt under his jacket.
    “There’s cold ham and cheese, and carrots,” I said, not meeting his eyes.
    “Laura,” he said, lifting my chin, “I’m harder on you because you’re better than your behavior that night.”
    I looked up at him and felt like crying.
    “I think of your mother,” he said. “I worry that I’m not doing right by you girls.”
    I found my voice. “You are.”
    “I try,” he said. “But it’s hard.”
    My father’s forehead creased, and I could see his pain and discomfort over being at odds with me. It made me wish I could tell him about my love and get his advice, but that could not be so. He left me with a hug and a wave out of the side of Dr. Hagerty’s Ford.
    I wish I had begged him not to go. I wish I had apologized for ever sneaking out and placing that rift between us.
    That afternoon an