Fallen Angel (The List #3) Read Online Free PDF Page B

It made
me feel uncomfortable because I have no hold over you. We’re just friends. I’m
not a bitter, bitchy person. I don’t want to be that girl.”
     
    “You don’t need to explain anything to me B.
The whole night was fucked up. I didn’t expect Carmel to come with Jack
otherwise I would’ve forewarned you. She can be intense.”
     
    “Who is she anyway? I mean, I take it you and
her are or have been… intimate?”
     
    Props to bold Beth. Jax adjusts his position
with a grimace of pain.
     
    “It’s… complicated. We have a history. I care
about her, but we’re not fucking each other. Even though she had my best
interests at heart, she had no right to speak to you like that and I promise it
won’t happen again. You’ve got nothing to worry about, I’ll deal with her.”
     
    “So you’ve never slept with her?”
     
    Please say he hasn’t… Please say he hasn’t…
     
    “I didn’t say that.” That little piece of hope
vanishes. I bite my tongue long enough for him to fill the gap without me
having to probe further. “It was once, when we first met a few years ago. But
not since.”
     
    “Okay… So is that what you wanted to talk to me
about, her?”
     
    “Not just that. The main thing was to tell you
how grateful I am for what you did for me.” I shake my head wanting him to stop
talking. “Beth, listen to me, I’m sorry for putting you through all of that, it
was my fault.”
     
    I’m not sure whether I can revisit the
specifics now, with Jax. Seeing his blood-stained face, the gut wrenching
feeling when I first saw the knife handle and it first dawned on me that he’d
been stabbed. Feeling his bloodied tee as I cut it away. Giving him that
injection. Tears knock on the doors once more but I fight them back. Jax goes
on.
     
    “I will always regret that I put you in that
position. But, you were unbelievable and you’ll never know how much what you
did means to me.” I’m plaiting my fingers, looking down. “You listening, Angel?”
     
    “Mm-huh.”
     
    I gulp hard, still holding it together. Jax crooks
his finger under my chin, steering me to look at him. After a second he clears
his throat, which I feel represents the closing of that secret door to his raw emotions,
which he’d left ajar only briefly.
     
    “Plus, I wanted to see if you were okay and clear
the air. We didn’t exactly leave it on particularly pleasant terms.”
     
    The words ‘leave it’ snap me back from
emotional to panic.
     
    “And what exactly does ‘ leave it’ mean?”
     
    “Look, you know how it is with me and after
what I put you through Thursday night B, I expected you to cut me off
completely—”
     
    “Ditto.”
     
    He frowns as though the idea of him cutting me
off had never crossed his mind. Stroking his fingers down the side of my face
attentively, my head leans into his palm without thinking.
     
    “—I wouldn’t’ve blamed you if you’d wanted to
stay away from me… You’re already more than I deserve.”
     
    “I don’t and I’m not. I don’t ever want to stay
away from you. I’m here, aren’t I?”
     
    My croaky voice is loaded with desperation.
Funny thing is, I don’t give a shit. I honestly don’t care. Jax won’t see this
as weakness, I know him well enough to know how he judges me.
     
    “Yes. You’re definitely here.” His gaze slides
over my face, warming up my cheeks again but for a whole new reason. I’m
wearing yoga pants and a hoody so not exactly seduction material. “But Beth, I
need to say something.” O oh. Brace yourself Bethany. “What happened to
me Thursday night… There’s a side to me that I don’t share with you, you know
that. And that part of me—it’s the reason I was stabbed.” No shit Sherlock. My
heart’s beating ten to the dozen. “Now the fucker responsible for what happened
has been dealt with and I’m telling you that so you don’t worry that someone’s
gonna come and finish the job or anything.” I visibly