Faithful Shadow Read Online Free PDF Page B

it was too long. Joe took another long swig, lowering his head back to the wheel. The interior of his truck faded, dissolving into the memory of his last contact with Ryan. He’d driven out to see Joe, reaching his small cabin a few minutes before midnight. He’d been driving a very long time, almost a straight shot from his small, shitty apartment in Southern California. Joe hadn’t wanted him to come alone, but he said he needed to get away. Had to get away. A heavy desperation had clung to his tone.
    “Didn’t you stop?” Joe asked as his son stepped onto the porch. This had been four months ago.
    “No, I didn’t want to stay on the road any longer than I had to.” Ryan scratched his arms repeatedly, looking agitated. “Can I come in?” He looked back over his shoulder.
    “Please.” Joe gave his son a strong hug, squeezing him tight. He felt ill from the overpowering aroma of cigarettes and beer. “You look like you’ve seen some better days.” Joe took hold of his twenty-four year old son’s hands and held him out at arm’s length. His clothes were ratty and stained.
    “Don’t start with me, Dad.” Ryan grumbled as he pushed past him, entering the cabin. He took a seat at the table, leaning back with a heavy sigh. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his coat and tossed them down. “I didn’t come here to be insulted.” Ryan shook his head, scratching his arms harshly. He twitched his head to the right, breathing heavy. “Why do you always make me feel unwanted? I swear to God!”
    “Why did you come here?” Joe shut the door and took a small step into the room, not wanting to crowd him.
    “So I’m not welcome? This is how you greet me?” Ryan crossed his arms in front of his chest in a defensive stance. He looked over his shoulder at the door, dragging his uneven fingernails over his arm compulsively. Long red lines ran up his arm, blending with the red needle marks in the crook of his elbow. A long strand of hair fell over his eyes, but he didn’t seem to notice.
    “I didn’t say that.” Joe kept his voice calm.
    “You’ll never change. Job first and family second. That’s why Mom left your sorry ass!” Ryan spit in his face.
    Joe slapped his son hard across the face, immediately regretting it. His mouth dropped in shock, complete disbelief that he’d raised a hand to his son.
    “Fuck this. I’m out of here.” Ryan grabbed his cigarettes and pushed past his father. “I came here for help and you turn me away. I knew this was a mistake.”
    “Please don’t leave.” Joe ran after him down the steps, gripping his arm.
    “Get off of me.” Ryan yanked his arm free and got into his car, starting the engine. “I knew this was going to be a hassle.”
    “Don’t leave. I’m sorry.” Joe ran alongside his son’s car as he began to back away. “I didn’t mean to get angry. Just come inside and I’ll help you. Whatever it is you’ve gotten yourself into, we can fix it.” Joe stood and watched his son turn down the driveway. “Please don’t go,” Joe yelled, but Ryan took off.
    Three weeks went by without word from Ryan. He’d finally built up the courage to call, hoping he hadn’t completely driven his son away. So he called his son’s apartment and heard from his scumbag of a roommate that he’d been killed in a car accident. He’d made the trip home, but a few days later he’d been shooting up with some lowlifes and decided to take a drive along the coast. Police reports said he’d plowed into the guardrail at more than eighty miles an hour and was killed on impact. At least he hadn’t suffered. That was something Joe had to hang onto.
    Joe lifted his head from the steering wheel, indents from the wheel imbedded across his forehead. The sun had traveled across the sky, moving behind the hills to the west. He must have been a sight to see; a National Park ranger with a flask in his hand weeping with his head down while God knows how many tourists, families in