Fade Back (A Stepbrother Romance Novella) Read Online Free PDF

breath.
    "Thank you," Fitz almost whispered. He drew on in silence for the next few minutes, while each of them contemplated their chosen words, each assailed with feelings of hesitant regret and bolstered by their boldness. The air grew thicker between them, to the point where Becka was sure she could feel Fitz’s breath against the fine hairs of her arm, the sweep of an errant touch of Fitz’s hand on her stomach, bathed in the combination of cologne, ink, clean laundry, and some unidentified earthy tones which made up his melange. Becka breathed deep. If she could only bottle it...
    The silence intensified to the point where Becka, almost lost in the vastness, began to force herself to shore out of habit.
    "So... This tattoo of mine, how did you come up with it?" she asked, trying to sound affable, but the quaver in her voice gave away her curiosity.
    Fitz continued drawing, a thoughtful 'Hmmmm' his only indication of having heard. Becka wondered if she should ask again but Fitz finally spoke up, with a shake in his voice to match Becka’s. "I don't want you to think I'm being... I dunno, presumptuous."
    "Oh, don't worry about that. Presuming is what most of my friends do."
    "Well, I don't. I guess it's just... I do a lot of tats for young girls like you. They're always hot, and confident, and they think they know exactly what they want. It's like they were born with this sense that they, I don't know, that they fit in. And when you came in, it was like you could have been just like these girls, and that you could fit in, but there was something about you that just didn't. I don't want to say you're vulnerable, because we all are, I think. But the way you held that crumpled paper, and all the scribbling on it, all the doubt and fear... I guess I just didn't want you to have to be like that crowd when you've got something better. I thought there was more to you than a line from a movie, and I think you think it too."

Chapter Six
    B ecka didn't know what to say, so she just kind of nodded and thought about what Fitz said. He was right, of course. She ruled the roost at Lux but despite fitting in, she realized she no longer really wanted to. The parties were fun and the people were fun, but it was getting old. Every bleary Monday lately, she'd been wondering if there wasn't more to life, a new kind of enjoyment that didn't rely on novelty and drama. The guys liked to throw the word 'love' around, but they were really just play acting, performing an emotional connection instead of actually having one. None of Becka’s admirers knew she was a math geek, and she didn't really know anything about them either. It was like they'd all gone through the years before partying in a coma, emerging on the dance floor like butterflies, never admitting they used to be caterpillars. Becka realized she'd allowed herself to lose her individual history in preference for a mass hallucination among hard-bodied strangers. And Fitz somehow saw that.
    "I was the same way too. It took me a while to figure out who I am, and what was really important to me, whether it was cool or not. And then, of course, times changed and what I loved became cool in its own right. I'm just coasting off that. Geometry will have its day too."
    "Maybe I should go back to school, get myself a master’s degree before it gets too hot to get in the field. My father would be pretty happy about that,” Becka said, almost wistfully.
    "Why didn’t you?”
    "Oh, you know how it is… it cost a lot of money, and there were no jobs, and I started having too much fun at the club. Just stupid stuff, really. It feels like forever ago."
    "Well I promise, in the big picture, two or three years is nothing. And it's never too late for something you really want."
    "Do you think so?" Becka asked.
    "I know so,” Fitz said, before reaching over and switching off his pen.
    "Are we finished already?" Fitz laughed as Becka looked up at him, wide-eyed and smiling.
    "It's been four hours!