in my voice.
"Weeks. Not long," he answers abruptly.
"Long enough," I mutter under my breath.
He traces a path over my knee. I pull back harshly.
"Don't touch me," I say quietly. "You never should have touched me."
There's a moment of silence before he speaks. "You're all I've ever wanted."
"You're marrying her." I push his hand away. "You shouldn't be here."
"I can't be anywhere else." He reaches to grab both of my hands. "You are where I belong."
Chapter 11
"Y ou realize that makes no sense, right?" I try to pull my hands free of his grasp but he's too strong.
"None of this makes sense," he counters. "None of it."
"We're on the same page then." I tense. "You need to go. Let's just end this and walk away from each other. Please." My voice is pleading. I can't keep looking at him. I can't keep imagining what it would feel like if I were wearing that ring. I can't keep wanting him even though I know he's a two faced liar and a cheat.
"You were fifteen the first time I saw you," he says hoarsely. "You were coming out of a movie theatre with a boy."
I'm speechless. Fifteen? Six years ago?
"I saw him reach for your hand but you pulled it away." A small smile pulls at the corner of his lips. "You were shy. He looked heartbroken."
That was so long ago that I can't even recall who he's talking about. It was before Will. It was before I dated.
"I sat in the balcony at your high school graduation." His fingers brush against mine and I'm too stunned to pull away.
"No," I whisper. He's a liar. He's saying those things to make me weak.
"You were the valedictorian. Your speech was amazing. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house."
He's making that up. He read somewhere that I was the valedictorian. He couldn't have been there.
"I choked up myself when you mentioned the brevity of life and second chances. I knew you were referring to your heart." His voice cracks.
My breath stalls. I remember that as if it was yesterday. The speech had been deeply emotional for me. It was so difficult to share with my classmates the promise of what tomorrow would be for all of us while I was living with someone else's heart inside my body.
"Then your first day at Harvard." He scans my face before he reaches in his pocket to pull out his smartphone. "I have a picture of that."
I recoil. I feel as if I'm being assaulted. "You don't," I mutter. "You can't."
He hands me the phone and I peer down. I'm there, in a pair of jeans and a pink sweater. My hair piled on my hair in a messy bun. The shot is from the side but I'm clearly walking towards the front doors of one of the buildings on campus. I pull my index finger to the screen and scroll through the images. There's one of Alexa and me. The Christmas decorations and our oversized winter jackets suggest it's winter. I'm smiling as she stands in a long line in what appears to be a shopping mall. Another is of me and Dylan at our parent's country house. He's getting behind the wheel of his car while I stand and watch him. I drop the phone in my lap. My hands are desperately shaking. There are so many images. So many years captured in photographs.
I vaguely realize that he's dropped to his knees. "I've loved you forever."
I don't protest when he rests his head in my lap. "I don't understand," I say weakly. I can't understand. He's been there, in my life, for so long.
"I first came to find you when you sent the letter." He pulls his head up so he's looking at me. "I watched outside your parent's house until you came out."
"Years ago?" I ask.
"You were fifteen. I was twenty-one." He stresses the numbers. "I went to Boston every Saturday on the train for years and years."
"You didn't." I stare at his face. How do I know he's telling me the truth?
"I took the early train there and the late train back," he pauses briefly. "When I was completely impatient from not seeing your face for an entire week, I'd book a flight on Friday night and stay in a hotel near your parent's
Douglas E. Schoen, Melik Kaylan