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should have been the one to tell her, not me. Why? Why didn’t you tell her?”
    “I couldn’t,” she said as she began to sob. Eric breathed in deeply, like he was about to dive into deep water.
    “You two have been friends for so long. She deserved to know. Now the wake and the funeral are both over. You told me that she didn’t want to go. That she hated the thought of death. You made that up? Why would you lie to me like that?” Aurora’s only reply was more sobs and tears. “Grab your stuff. Come on, let’s go.”
    I pushed the door open and stared at Aurora, forcing her to meet my gaze. When she did, she looked as pathetic as my reflection. I decided it was time for me to play the part of the bigger person.
    “I’m sorry, Aurora. Mr. Bacster was a good man. Please tell your aunt how sorry I am that she has to go through this.”
    Aurora wiped her puffy eyes and replied, “I will. Thank you, Sandy.”
     
    1804
    I walked through my garden, picking flowers for an arrangement, and Aurora rushed to step ahead of me.
    “So, I heard you had a gentleman caller. Eric Marwick, was it?” Aurora was having a hard time keeping the resentment from her voice.
    “Yes, it would seem he is looking for a wife. He is a fine man.”
    “However, rather poor is what I had heard.”
    “Then you have heard wrong. He is the only heir to his father’s and his uncle’s fortunes, as well as a great deal of land in the north.”
    She pinched her lips together, calculating a response. “How fortunate for you if he chooses you to wed. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for you to have children together. May they be as handsome as their mother.”
    Her carefully planned words struck me, reflecting my deepest fear, that I wasn’t pretty enough. She knew my envy of her porcelain beauty. She was perfectly white and fragile. She would often perform ladylike actions such as fainting at the slightest hint of bad news, while I always stood my ground, unshaken. She always knew how to make me feel like a man in a dress. Burly and ridiculous.

     
    CHAPTER 5
    A TIME FORGOTTEN
     
    I nudged Eric’s arm and his head slowly lifted off the table. That was the third time I had to wake him. For the past three hours of class, Eric could not keep his eyes open.
    Finally we were dismissed and everyone filed out the door. Eric and I were the last to leave. It took him a while to realize that our class had ended. I couldn’t blame him for being so tired. He had driven a total of twelve hours the day before—because of Aurora—and this was his third class today.
    He and I walked slowly across the dark quad together, heading back to the dorms for the night. We hadn’t said much more than “hi” to each other since the big scene the day before. We didn’t really know what to say. He and I were both embarrassed because of Aurora. My best friend. His girlfriend. I decided someone had to break the silence.
    “So, you sure missed a lot of class today.”
    Eric grunted in response. He slouched as he walked and it almost made him my height. Almost. Not quite at all actually. He was so tall. I wondered precisely how tall. He had to be over six foot.
    “I can give you my notes if you want. We can study together again.” Maybe he wasn’t just tired and embarrassed. His expression was also sad. One of his books slipped from his hand. It fell to the grass and I quickly picked it up for him. “You’re scaring me.” I hugged his notebook to my chest, not wanting to part with it. He looked at me like he didn’t understand.
    “Why?” he asked.
    Why? He made it sound like I had asked a stupid question; if only he could see how he looked to me.
    “You’re not yourself. Why are you so sad? Why are you acting like the walking dead?” Normally he had so much life and energy. I held his notebook out to him and he took it reluctantly.
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Don’t be sorry.”
    “I… well…” He looked around the dark campus to see if anyone was close by.