worn-out just from finding out about it
all…and recovering from the scare Mitch gave me too. I parked in my usual spot
and found myself looking around and over my shoulder as I walked up to the
door. My hands were shaking when I slipped the key into the lock. I kept
alternating between asking myself what I was doing getting into this mess, and
telling myself that these people needed all the help they could get and there
was no reason why I shouldn’t help them.
I stood inside the door of my apartment for a few
minutes…listening. I started letting my imagination work overtime on the way
home from Marie’s . Mitch is a cop. What if he broke
in? I closed the door behind me and locked it and then I picked up the only
thing I saw that I could possibly use as a weapon…my umbrella. It was one of
those with a hook on one end and a point on the other. It wouldn’t take out a
bullet…but in hand to hand combat it would give me an edge.
I tiptoed through the living room and threw open the
kitchen door. I glanced around to make sure that no one was there. My heart was
pounding in my chest but no amount of telling myself that I was being ridiculous was working to calm me down. I made my way back
through the living room and down the narrow hall. I was for once thankful I
lived in a small place. I opened the door to the extra bedroom and flipped on
the light. I went over to the closet and opened it. I stepped back and held the
umbrella out in front of me like a sword. I struck at the clothes in the
closet, beating at imaginary monsters like I was seven again. I did the same
thing in my room. I was about to pronounce it all clear. All I had left was the
shower.
I swear it was like that shower scene in Psycho ; as I pulled open the curtain and
aimed my umbrella…my fucking phone rang in my pocket. I screamed and dropped
the umbrella. The sound of it clattering to the porcelain floor of the shower
startled me again and I dropped the phone. I fumbled for it and when I finally
had it in my hand and saw who was calling, I wanted to throw it against the
wall. My mother always had impeccable timing.
“Hello, Mom.”
“Jessie! I didn’t think you were going to answer.”
After I heard her voice, I wished that I hadn’t. I could tell from her tone
that this was not going to be good. I considered hanging up before I even heard
it. “Jessie! Are you there?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m here. What’s wrong?”
She instantly went on the defensive. “Why are you
saying it like that? I don’t only call you when something is wrong.” Bullshit.
“I didn’t mean to insinuate anything, Mom. I don’t
want to fight with you today, okay? What’s going on?” Tell me what you need.
“Tyler is kicking me out.”
Damn, that was the one thing I was afraid of. Tyler
was my mother’s latest in a string of younger men. She meets them in bars and
moves in with them within weeks. All goes well until they tire of her neediness
and realize that her looks really are only skin deep…then they toss her out.
She hasn’t had a job in over a year. I have no idea how she can stand to always
let someone else support her.
I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“I need a place to stay,” she said in a whiny voice.
It was the sentence I was hoping not to hear, but expecting. The last time I’d
lived with my mother was while I was in college and dating my ex-boyfriend
Justin. The whole situation was…ugly, to say the least.
“Mom, you know I love you…but it’s not a good idea
for us to be under the same roof.”
“You would let your mother be put out on the
street?” Here it comes, the guilt.
“I’m not kicking you out, Mom. Apparently, Tyler is.
This is why I keep telling you that you need to get a job and take care of
yourself so that you don’t have to depend on these men.”
“Now you’re going to lecture me? So this is what I
get from my daughter? A lecture and an “I don’t care if you sleep in the