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deliberately hadn’t eaten? Perhaps this had been a terrible idea after all. But then I had a good thought—my father wouldn’t punish me in front of Doctor Bourke. In any case, he couldn’t punish me now that I really was genuinely sick. Doctor Bourke’s face was soft and kind, and I decided to spill out everything in front of him. It felt safe. “I didn’t eat because I’m not allowed over to play with John Hogan any more, because Maidy put me in his trousers so my uniform wouldn’t get dirty, then I climbed a tree and gave cheek to Miss Kennedy.” His eyes widened. I didn’t look at my parents. I was too afraid, so I just kept my eyes on Doctor Bourke.
    He didn’t turn away from me. He said, “I see,” with a straight, serious face. Then: “Well now, Ellie, that sounds like a dreadful business altogether. Now tell me—are you sorry for what you did?”
    I could see where he was going. “Yes, Doctor, I am very sorry.”
    “And did you say sorry to your parents for the trouble you caused them?”
    I realized I hadn’t. But then, it hadn’t been presented to me as an option before then. “No, Doctor Bourke, I didn’t.”
    “Well, perhaps if you apologize to your parents, then they will let you over to the Hogans’ house again and we can forget all of this starving yourself nonsense.”
    I looked up at my parents. They were like statues. I did not know whether they were frozen with shock because I had starved myself for five straight days without them noticing, or because of the way Doctor Bourke had spoken to me. I guessed it was a mixture of both. My father wore an expression I had never seen before. He looked a little afraid.
    “I’m sorry,” I said.
    Doctor Bourke stood up and went over to my parents. “There now, no need to worry any more,” he said touching my father on the shoulder. “I expect this young lady will be ready for her dinner shortly, and maybe we’ll persuade John to bring down one of Maidy’s famous apple tarts before too long. Doctor’s orders!”
    My father let out a cough, but there was nothing he could say. There were only two people more important than my father that I knew of—Father Mac and Doctor Bourke. He had to do as he was told. Doctor’s orders! I was a genius for waiting until now to say anything; my plan had worked.
    Before they left the room, my mother came over and touched me on the head. Her hand faltered before she laid it gently on my hair. It felt so wonderful that I closed my eyes and smiled. Then it was gone, and she followed my father and the doctor downstairs.

Chapter Six
    John and I were barely parted after that until it was time for us to leave national school. Most children finished their education at twelve because secondary education was too expensive for the majority, but my parents had arranged for me to go on and board at a convent school. John had missed a year of schooling when his parents were sick, so he had been held back a year. Although he had already been offered an apprenticeship with a cabinetmaker in Dublin, Paud—who had left school at nine himself—believed that fourteen was time enough to start work. So he and Maidy arranged for John to stay in school for an additional year.
    I was there when they broke the news to him.
    “Now you can stay with all your friends for another year, John. Isn’t that grand?”
    I got a thrill, because it meant we would be leaving national school at the same time, and I wouldn’t be left behind there on my own. But it disappeared when I looked at John’s shocked face. He was devastated. I knew he was longing to get out into the real world. When Paud had originally told him about the apprenticeship, John had come running over to me at break time and nearly exploded with excitement. “I’ll be in Dublin, Ellie, working like a man. The cabinetmaker is an important person, making chairs and drawers for all the big nobs in the city. I’ve started on a box already, and a leather belt for my