Dream Boy Read Online Free PDF

his church, and Roy goes out with
her all the time.
    At
school Nathan leaves the bus with the first wave this time, letting Roy sit
like a boulder. His coldness seems oddly expected. But Nathan remembers lying
on their clothes in the cemetery, his hand on Roy's naked belly in the shadow
of the obelisk. Roy will treat Nathan as he pleases, and Nathan expects the
coldness. In the daylight Nathan will be invisible.
    So at
lunchtime Nathan sits away from Roy and his friends, at a table by the southern
wall of windows, among the black kids. He drinks his milk and chews his
macaroni and cheese. His mind, as he eats, is a perfect wash, free of any stray
imagining. He avoids the smoking patio, after lunch, in favor of the lawn in
front of the school, sheltered by the brick sign announcing FORKESTER COUNTY
HIGH SCHOOL to the fields beyond. He sits in the shadow, hidden, and hums a
hymn from church about the peace that passes understanding.
    A new
friend crosses the yard beyond, Hannah from Nathan's civics class. Hannah
visits briefly, asking if Nathan is ready for the test on the American
Constitution next week. Yes, Nathan answers. Hannah is pimpled and pleasant and
talks for a while, idle and mundane chatter, but while she is there, Roy
passes. His posture radiates anxiety, hands jammed into pants pockets,
shoulders rigid. He sees Nathan and stands watching. He scowls and shoves his
hands deeper.
    Even
now, even from this distance, his body draws Nathan toward it, and Nathan
stands to join him; but suddenly Roy storms away, shoulders hunched, frowning.
    The
afternoon chokes Nathan, sitting in hot, dark classrooms with windows no
teacher will open. He sits through advanced math with his Venus pencil poised,
paper glaring at him from the desktop. Mr. Ferrette crumbles chalk against the
chalkboard. When the final bell rings and everyone hurries toward the buses, Nathan
walks toward his own bus with a small fear inside.
    Roy
straddles his vinyl saddle watching the accelerator pedal on the floor, books
loose in one arm. Others enter before Nathan does; he nods to them; Nathan is
too far away to read Roy's expression; but when Roy sees Nathan he turns,
making a production of settling his books into the basket beside the seat.
Momentum carries Nathan to the back of the bus, where he sits, quietly watching
the top of Roy's head in the rearview mirror.
    The
drive home is tedious and tense at the same time, the bus a senseless rattling
contraption that sends up a cloud of stinking exhaust, vapid voices, and vacant
laughter. Nathan props his knees against the seat in front, glaring at the
ridged rubber mat that runs the length of the aisle. No matter where he looks,
he can feel Roy's sullen anger at the front of the bus. Roy scans the highway
with lips set in a line. Nathan clutches his books against his stomach,
remembering the softness of Roy's cheek, the taste of his mouth.
    The bus
makes its usual stops, the bodies thinning among the seats. Soon there are only
a few voices between Nathan and Roy. Again soon, Nathan sits alone in the back
of the bus and Roy alone in front; Roy stares forward and Nathan stares
downward, each with equal stubbornness. Roy turns the bus down the dirt road
through the Kennicutt Woods. Nathan cannot help but watch the strong arms turn
the wide steering wheel, while Roy remains oblivious and shifts gears with
precise violence. But, past the first few curves of the road, he pulls the bus
to the side and stops.
    Nathan
watches in surprise. Roy sags back against his seat, arms falling limp at his
side. His deep breathing is audible. “I got a question for you.”
    Nathan
voice sounds timid, small in the empty bus. “What is it?”
    “What
were you doing with that girl in the front of the school?”
    Studying
the back of Roy's head for a clue. The mirror is empty. “Nothing. I was
just sitting there and she came up.”
    “Oh
sure,” Roy says.
    “She's
in my civics class. She was asking me about this test we