Dr. Nicholas Is Ridiculous! Read Online Free PDF

best friend!” Andrea wailed. “Now she’s stuck in 1776 for the rest of her life, and I’ll never see her again!”
    I don’t even like Emily, but I was getting a little choked up myself.
    â€œShe might get shot by British soldiers,” said Ryan.
    â€œOr she might help George Washington cross the Delaware,” said Neil the nude kid.
    That’s when I got a genius idea.
    â€œHey,” I said, “why don’t we just get back in the time boat, go to 1776, and look for Emily?”
    â€œYeah!” everybody shouted.
    â€œThat’s a great idea, A.J.!” said Dr. Nicholas.
    No wonder I’m in the gifted and talented program.
    We were climbing back into the time boat when you’ll never believe who walked into the science room.
    I’m not going to tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.
    It was Emily!
    â€œEmily!” we all screamed.
    Everybody ran over to Emily and started hugging her.
    â€œWhat’s the big deal?” Emily said. “Why is everyone shouting and yelling?”
    â€œWhere were you?” Andrea asked. “We were so worried! We thought that we left you in 1776, and you would be stuck there for the rest of your life!”

    â€œI wasn’t in 1776,” Emily explained. “I was in the bathroom.”
    Oh.
    â€œWhy didn’t you just wait until we got out of the time boat?” Andrea asked her.
    â€œIt was an emergency,” Emily whispered. “I had a number two.”
    â€œBut why did you go to the bathroom?” I asked. “We have plenty of pencils right here.”
    Emily is weird. *

11
Good-bye
    The next day we had to take the history test again. Everybody was nervous. If we scored high, our school would stay open. But if we scored low, our school would shut down, and we would have to go to Dirk School on the other side of town. We were all on pins and needles.
    Well, not really. We were sitting on chairs. Why would anybody want to sit on pins and needles? That would hurt.
    Before the test we had to go to the all-purpose room. Mr. Klutz, Mr. Docker, Mrs. Yonkers, and some of the other teachers were up on the stage. But not Dr. Nicholas.
    â€œWhere’s Dr. Nicholas?” whispered Michael.
    â€œWhere’s Dr. Nicholas?” whispered Andrea.
    â€œWhere’s Dr. Nicholas?” whispered Emily.
    In case you were wondering, everybody was whispering, “Where’s Dr. Nicholas?”
    Mr. Klutz made the shut-up peace sign with his fingers, and we all stopped whispering to each other. He wasn’t smiling like he usually is. He looked really sad.

    â€œI wanted to let you students know that I just fired Dr. Nicholas,” he said.
    WHAT?! Everybody gasped.
    We liked Dr. Nicholas. This was the worst thing to happen since TV Turnoff Week!
    â€œWhy did you fire Dr. Nicholas?” we all shouted.
    â€œI found out she was wasting valuable classroom time to teach you about silly things like the history of Barbie dolls and the history of toilet bowls,” said Mr. Klutz. “As a result, you are not prepared for the big test, and you may very well fail it. Ella Mentry School may close its doors forever.”
    Everybody was moaning, sobbing, and wiping their eyes with tissues.
    â€œI just wanted you to know that it has been a pleasure being your principal,” said Mr. Klutz, “and I just wanted to say good-bye.”
    It was really sad. We walked back to our classroom without saying a word. When Mr. Granite passed out the test papers and asked us if we all had our number two pencils, nobody even giggled or cracked a joke about number two.
    â€œWhen I say Go, turn over your test papers,” said Mr. Granite. “Ready . . . set . . . GO!”
    I turned over my test paper and looked at the first few questions. . . .
    Â  1. Who invented Barbie?
    Â  2. What did Tom Crapper do?
    Well, you probably know what happened after that. We did great on the