of resignation. “Lawson had a poem in The Crisis . Beautiful. Bella had a one-act play produced up in Harlem. At a drama workshop at the Lincoln. Everyone loved it…So I said no, I can’t be a part of the group, but Lawson kept pushing me. He said—why not? Do it, do it. C’mon.” He grinned. “So I did it. Here I am now, sitting with the woman who wrote So Big .”
“Will you show me your writing? I know you said you don’t like to but…” I stopped. He glanced down at his hands, then looked over my shoulder. “Last summer, when I sat down with Waters’ friends, I enjoyed reading their work. There’s something about their…energy.”
Again the grin. “They told me they were terrified of you.”
Now I laughed out loud. “I’m not an ogre, Roddy.”
Hurriedly he said, “No, no, it’s not that. It’s just that, you know, we all write and talk to each other, but suddenly we were headed south of 125th Street and into your apartment. And we’re thinking So Big , Show Boat , Pulitzer Prize. And you were right there…”
“Well, I hope they’ve lost their fear of me.”
He waited a bit. “I doubt that. A little fear is a good thing, no?”
I nodded. “Good point. Usually I demand it in the folks I encounter. I like people to tremble when I stroll into a room.”
For the first time he laughed loudly, a hearty, throaty roar. He threw back his head but then thought better of it, stopping abruptly and looking serious. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He didn’t say anything for a while. “I’m a little uncomfortable with you, I have to tell you.”
“The ogre part of me?”
The sheepish smile. “No, the part of me that’s always scared around people.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re part of the group,” I said. “You’re a charming young man, smart, and these days I find most young men boors, clods, bounders.”
“You don’t know me, Miss Ferber.”
“I doubt if you fit into any of those three categories.” I took a sip of coffee. “I’m glad Lawson is pushing you…”
“Lawson is my cousin, you know. A distant cousin. I read his stuff and I think I can’t do that.”
“Let me judge…”
He was shaking his head furiously. “Not yet. I don’t have anything I’m ready to show you. Just yet. Maybe later…“
“Are you sure?” I grinned. “Every day there are budding writers at my door, clamoring for me to read their work. They hand me poems as I step out of taxis.”
He was still shaking his head. “No.” Emphatic, strong. “Not yet.” A sly grin. “Maybe. Someday.”
“Lawson is a confident young man.” I smiled. “And so is Bella. Confident woman , that is.”
“That’s because they’re clever, talented, and they’re both so good looking. Everyone falls in love with Lawson. It’s like a curse for him.” He leaned in, pretending to share a confidence. “The other side of my family. The ones with the better genes. We live together, you know. Uptown in a cheap apartment. I work at a smelly, oily warehouse and Lawson is a hotel janitor. We talk all the time about where we’ll end up. He dreams of being downtown on Broadway—the first important Negro playwright—and my most recent dream was singing in the Negro Chorus of Show Boat .”
“Maybe you’ll get your chance again.”
“Maybe someone has to die for me to get back up there.” Idly, he pointed through the wall toward the unseen stage. “Not worth it. Anyhow, my singing is not the best. There are other opportunities. You know, this whole Harlem Renaissance going on. That’s what got us going, Miss Ferber. That’s what sparked our group to meet. Harlem is filled with life now. Just sixty or so years after slavery, well, Harlem is a place where black folks have their…their own world. It’s like a…Negro kingdom there. The jazz, the shows, it never stops. Harlem is jam-packed with writers and artists and…” His voice rose as his words ended. “Uptown. It’s…it’s