Don't Tell the Groom Read Online Free PDF Page B

exams in the evenings and I would think of the wedding and how Mark could contribute more for it than I could. One night I just thought I’d try another way to help out.’
    I wish she would stop nodding her head; she is reminding me of one of those nodding dogs you put in your car – the ones that freak me out.
    â€˜Well, why don’t you postpone the wedding until you can save up? I take it your husband-to-be knows about your gambling.’
    I can’t meet her eyes as I don’t want to see her look of disapproval.
    â€˜Don’t you think it might be best if you started by confiding in him?’
    â€˜Look, I just need some advice about the money,’ I say, ignoring her. There’s no way I can tell Mark. No way at all.
    â€˜OK,’ says the woman, sighing. ‘While I usually talk to people about managing debts, maybe we could talk about how you’re going to budget your money, if you’re not going to postpone your wedding. Have you given budgeting any thought?’
    â€˜Not really. I did try to look into investments and interest rates in the week, but I’m never going to be able to scale my money up four hundred per cent in three months.’
    â€˜OK,’ says the woman after a long pause. She starts to talk to me like she is talking to a simpleton. ‘How about you budget your wedding for five thousand pounds?’
    I laugh out loud. I laugh like it is the funniest thing anyone has ever said. A wedding for five thousand pounds. Is she kidding? I look up at her face. Evidently she is not kidding.
    â€˜How do I do that?’
    My palpitations have started again. I’m beginning to panic and my breathing is getting shallower. I am starting to feel like I’m slowly suffocating.
    â€˜I think it would help you if you made two lists. At first, why don’t you write out exactly what you would like – a dream budget – if you will.’
    That would be easy. I could practically give that to her off the top of my head, I know it so well.
    â€˜OK, that’s easy.’
    â€˜Yes, that one always is. Then in the next budget why don’t you try to forecast using the funds that you
actually
have.’
    â€˜But I’ve got to shave off sixteen thousand pounds. How am I supposed to do that?’
    â€˜Start with making a list and put things under columns of essential, nice extras and luxuries. Then you can go through the essentials and find if there are ways to make them cheaper.’
    â€˜Like how? Get married in a sack?’
    â€˜No, like buy a cheaper wedding dress. Marriage is not all about the wedding, you know.’
    Tell that to the magazines I’ve been subscribing to for the last two years. I don’t want to come across as a bridezilla as I am totally in touch with reality. It is just that I do want to have a princess wedding. I don’t want to scrape by with only the essentials.
    â€˜Here,’ she says. She reaches down into her desk of everhelpful leaflets and she hands me one marked
Budget yourself out of debt
.
    â€˜Catchy title,’ I say.
    â€˜Unfortunately, it’s our most popular leaflet. It’s slightly different for you as you’re not in debt but the principles are the same. It is all about making a budget and sticking to it. Now, is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps you want to do some volunteering work to fill your time to stop you gambling?’
    Has this woman not heard me? I’m trying to make money, not give myself away.
    â€˜I don’t think so,’ I say attempting to be polite.
    â€˜Well, if there’s nothing else?’
    â€˜No,’ I say. She’s already ruined my dreams of a castle wedding and made me feel like I ought to be appearing on
The Jeremy Kyle Show
.
    â€˜Great. Well, good luck with the wedding,’ she says.
    â€˜Thanks,’ I mutter, pushing the leaflets into my pocket.
    What on earth am I going to do now?