Papa would hate it if he knew, but for the first time, perhaps Kai really loves me the way love was in the Old World.
‘Wait,’ I say, stopping once more and letting go of his hand. ‘You’ve been acting like my older brother for almost the entire time I’ve known you, then you have a dream and you want to be with me? I don’t understand!’
He looks at me and to my surprise, laughs!
‘Arys, the first time I saw you, I fell in love with you! You’re the reason I stayed in this tribe, and I-’
I begin to ask questions but he stops me and carries on talking.
‘No, not the kind of love that means sacrificing yourself’, he says. ‘But the kind of where you’re all I think about and I want to be with you all the time; to laugh with you and to be there when you cry. Maybe to you I just look like your protector, or brother even, but Arys, I am in love with you and I’m not letting anyone get in the way of that. Not Zeke, or Iris, or even Papa. Only you can, and it’s taken me this long to realise that!’
I try to say something, but no words come. So I kiss him once more.
‘I love you,’ I tell him, my arms around him again.
‘I love you, too,’ he responds.
Finally those three words mean the thing I’ve wanted to say, to hear, for years. Nobody has to know about our motive behind them words at camp. No one has to know until I turn eighteen. Men only marry when their predefined woman turns eighteen. Lucky for me, Iris is only three months older than me and perhaps Kai can avoid that.
We get back into camp just as the sun is about to rise, and there is a light mist in the air. We stopped holding hands twenty minutes ago, in case anyone on the night watch was patrolling. As we reveal ourselves, we’re greeted by everyone on the night watch, including Papa. He hurries us both into his tent to get the details of what happened. It takes roughly ten minutes to give him all the made-up details, leaving out the journey back and Kai’s dream. Kai did most of the talking, but let me describe the deer hunt. He says that we came across Hunters upon reaching the lake and had to find another way back to the temporary camp, which is why we’re back so late. When Kai finishes explaining what supposedly happened, Papa hugs me tightly. He’s wise; he’s lived many years and matched so many people. He will know love when he sees it, so I try not to look at Kai too often. He believes that Old World love is bad; a weakness because in this world, Old World love often results in death. The pain was so great for him that no one dares love like they did in the Old World anymore. We separate and after seeing Papa again, I know that there’s little chance Kai and I can be together anymore. The joy that was there less than half an hour ago has faded, making my heart feel torn. I know Papa loves me and wants the best for me, the best being Zeke who I can never love in the Old World meaning. This protects me from being hurt like Papa. He once said to me ‘Emotional pain is far worse than any pain a blade can inflict’.
After assuring Papa for the final time that I’m alright, I make my way to my tent and collapse, exhausted, onto the blankets, ignoring the feeling of my empty stomach twisting uncomfortably.
I get a few hours of sleep before being woken by everyone leaving the tent. We’re to have a quick breakfast of dried fruit and cold meat, before packing down everything and hopefully today, finding a new semi-permanent camp for the next month. Rubbing my eyes, I open the flap of the tent to see the majority of the Tribe already up, some even beginning to pack up everything. The hopeful mood that I had last night has now shattered, and I feel even worse knowing that my love with Kai is even more painful now I know that despite him returning the affections, we can’t even be together. To make matters worse, Zeke
Nikita Storm, Bessie Hucow, Mystique Vixen