Dirty Neighbor (The Dirty Suburbs) Read Online Free PDF Page B

her.
     
    Isla and Faith snicker but as far as Sammie is concerned, my joke falls flatter than store brand soda pop. She just glares at me like she could burn a hole clear through my forehead. I almost want to duck out of the way. Y’know, for my safety and stuff. "Look — I don't know what exactly you're trying to offer me, but I'm not interested."
     
    I chuckle. “Come on, Sam. I’m just clowning around. Loosen up. You’re so proper …Jeeze – you might as well be a British aristocrat.”
     
    Her gaze narrows and she glares at me. So hard.
     
    Isla’s eyes dart from Sammie to me and back again. “Uh — Faith, I need to go to the washroom…to…do that thing…Will you help me?” She slides out of her chair.
     
    Faith catches on immediately and actually looks relieved for an excuse to get away. “Yeah. Yes, sure. I’ll help you.”
     
    She leaps away from the table so fast that her glass of sangria sways precariously on the tabletop.
     
    Sammie pushes back her chair to follow them, but Isla pins her with a look. “Uh — Sammie, you stay here…and, uh…tell Keeland about that homeowners association handbook thingy for your street.”
     
    Isla and Faith rush away before Sammie has time to protest. And now, we’re sitting here alone. Just me and her.
     
    I turn to her, releasing a heavy breath. “What’s it gonna take to get a laugh out of you, Sammie?”
     
    She doesn’t answer. She just stares straight ahead, running her finger around the lip of her empty glass. Man, I kind of wish it were my lip .
     
    I’m not giving up so easily, though. “If I’m gonna have to kiss your ass all night, we might as well get a room and a bottle of wine.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her.
     
    I’m hoping that she’ll at least smile. But she just scowls.
     
    I know, I know. I’m rusty and my jokes are cringe-worthy. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time. Cut me some slack.
     
    I used to be smooth. Real smooth. Getting a girl to laugh was never an issue. But maybe it’s my three years of social isolation that has me so awkward. Or maybe it’s the fact that my age-old crush on Sammie Trotten seems to have crept back up on me before I even got the chance to unpack my bags.
     
    I was not expecting this when I came back to Reyfield…
     
    Sammie looks furious. “No, okay? Just no. You can't come back after all this time and just laugh and joke like the good old days. No.”
     
    Fuck, I’m an asshole. “Sammie —”
     
    She throws up a hand to stop me. “Don’t. Spare me whatever it is that you have to say. I need to go speak to my brother. Have a good evening, Keeland.”
     
    She slides out of her chair and gets lost in the crowd.
     
    I slump back into my seat and down the rest of my beer in one gulp, feeling utterly defeated.
     
    A model-type with perky tits just walked by giving me hungry eyes but after Sam shoved a fistful of humble pie down my throat, I've suddenly lost my appetite for anyone else but her.

Chapter 8

     
     
    “Hey Gracie,” I say, tapping my sister-in-law on the shoulder.
     
    She spins around quickly, fire blazing in her brown eyes. When she sees that it’s just me, she takes a deep breath and a step away from my brother. They’ve been arguing in the corner since I walked into Flynn and Murray’s 20 minutes ago.
     
    “Hi Sam,” she says dryly, blinking away angry tears.
     
    “Everything okay over here?” My gaze bounces between Gracie and Daniel. They’ve been having problems lately. It’s gotten to the point where neither of them are able to hide it anymore.
     
    Gracie sighs, allowing my brother to answer. “We’re great.” He gives me his most patronizing smile, yanking his silk tie away from his throat. “First time we’ve gone out since the baby was born.” My nephew, Sebastian The Pooh as I call him, popped into the world nine weeks ago.
     
    Though I’m not convinced that everything is fine, I didn’t come over here to get in the middle