Dirty Read Online Free PDF Page B

too long…I feel dirty.

5
    Zane
    “ I know .” I plant my elbows into the top of my thighs. “He’s a stubborn old man and is refusing treatment.”
    “Dialysis will do no good if he doesn’t complete the next round of chemo.”
    “He’s heard it over and over and in the end it’s his choice.”
    The words slice my tongue as I speak each one. Grandpa is still hell bent on refusing any more treatment. I get it, I really do, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. The last round of chemo nearly destroyed him.
    “I’ll have him sign off on paperwork then and get hospice lined up. He may have three good weeks left in him or at most three months.”
    “Thank you.” I stand and nod to the doctor and wonder why in the hell I’m thanking him.
    “Zane, the billing office needs you to stop by before you leave.”
    “Of course they do,” I say, slamming the office door.
    They want their fucking money. It’s not enough that I get to watch my only family die, but they also want to take everything from us.
    “Old man.” I smile at my grandpa, who’s resting on a bench.
    “I’m not your old man. I could still whoop your ass, boy.” He waves his cane in the air with all the strength he has.
    “I’d like to see that shit.” I stare down at my black Cons and go over the news the doctor just shared with me.
    “Grandpa, I really think you need to give it one more…”
    “Enough of this shit, Zane.” He stands to his feet, batting away a nurse who tries to help him stand. “No longer am I going to sit by and watch you suffer, work your hands to the bone, and worry about my old ass. I thought the day your parents were locked away would be the hardest on me, but it’s far from it. I’m tired, sick, and old, son. We’ll get through this.”
    I can’t bring myself to agree with him because everything inside of me disagrees with him. I run my hands through my long shaggy hair and bite my tongue.
    “You go on. The nurse can take me home.”
    I wrap him up in a huge hug and squeeze him gently. It wasn’t too long ago that he could envelope me in a hug, overpowering me. But now I’m afraid I’ll break the man.
    “I love you, Grandpa, I can’t lose you.” I squeeze my eyes shut tight and hang onto him for a few extra seconds.
    “I’ll always be here, Zane, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
    “Ditto.” I step back, fighting to keep my tears at bay knowing now beyond a doubt that his days are numbered. No amount of prayers, money, or miracles can save him. I see it in his eyes; his soul has surrendered.
    “I’ll be home late tonight.”
    “Love you, kid.” He refuses the wheelchair and the elbow of his helper and takes each small step until he reaches the door.
    I brush away a few stray tears that escape and make my way down the long corridor to the billing department. The sterile smell and dull colors on the walls swirl together, creating a knot low in my gut. It will soon be a smell and sight that will no longer be in my life and that’s a bittersweet pill to accept. The fight is over.
    “May I help you?” a gray-haired lady behind the desk wearing wire-rimmed glasses asks.
    I place both of my palms down on the smooth countertop. “I’m here to pay on my grandpa’s bill.”
    “Okay, his last name and date of birth.”
    I spit out the information in a monotone voice and wait for her to pull up the information.
    “Your balance is sixty-thousand dollars and twenty-two cents and it looks like the insurance is still refusing one claim and we’re waiting on another to be processed. How much would you like to put down?”
    Digging deep in my left pocket, I pull out a wad of money. “I can only pay five thousand today.”
    “Um, we can’t take that much cash. Do you have a check or card?”
    “Is Julie working?” I shift my weight from one leg to the other, growing irritated at this fucking place. Each time this happens. The assholes want paid, but can’t fucking handle