little conservative clothes. She
and Michael had fought a lot—shouting matches over the phone, from what I’d
witnessed.
“So where’s Jessica? I want
to see the look on her fucking ice queen face,” Michael said to his friends
just loud enough that I could hear it. “Maybe if she’s lucky, I’ll let her have
some sloppy seconds.”
I
have to keep that jackass away from her , I thought, giving Michael one last
glance before I ducked back out of the room.
A strange feeling was
welling up inside me… Jealousy mingled with anger, but something else was on
the edge of my perception. As I thought about Jessica all I could see was the
way she stared at me with those wide eyes when I asked her who she wanted to
fuck. There it was, plain as day.
Desire. Raw and
unrepentant.
Chapter
5
Jessica
“What happened to you last night?”
Becky called me the next
evening just before bed like she always did, to talk about the day or vent our
frustration. It was ritual we’d soon be nixing for face-to-face conversations
on a nightly basis once we arrived at UCLA in a couple of days.
“I could ask you the same
question,” I replied, lying back on my bed. There was something in my voice
that was hard, almost like resentment, and I immediately knew that Becky heard
it too. Too bad I couldn’t stop myself from talking. “How could you play that
stupid game… and with Michael no less?”
“Hey,” she shot back
defensively, “I didn’t know that it would be Michael… not that I’m complaining
that it was. But how are you going to blame me for doing what you said we’d do—getting me kissed!”
“He’s my ex, Becky!” I
said. “And from what I heard in there, you were doing so much more than
kissing.”
There was silence over the
phone for what almost seemed like a full minute. I wasn’t sure if Becky was mad
or just embarrassed; either way, I felt like crap for calling her out like
that.
“You don’t get to be all
judgy,” she said, trying to keep her tone light, though there was a definite
edge to the way she spoke now. She was mad, and honestly, I deserved it. “You
both aren’t dating anymore, and I’m a big girl now. I can decide who I want to
do… things with.”
“I just didn’t want you to
get involved with a guy like Michael, that’s all,” I said, laying my head back
on my pillow. “I wanted to do the best friend thing and look out for you, y’know?”
“You keep saying stuff like
that, Jess, but I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. What’s so bad about
Michael?”
I sighed, rubbing my hand
over my face. I hated talking about my time with Michael, even with Becky, and
she knew that, but at the rate that she was pressing everything, I wasn’t sure
I’d be able to keep what had happened between him and I a secret for very long.
“Michael started out fine,”
I began. “We did all the normal couple things that you’re supposed to do. We
went on dates and went to the movies and kissed.”
“That doesn’t sound so
terrible,” she said.
“I’m not done yet. After
the first few months, things started to change. We’d be talking about things
like school, and I’d correct him on something—usually something small, like the
order of some historical event. And whenever I did that, he would get so mad.
“I didn’t think anything of
it at first, and he just glared at me and we finished our date. But after the
two of us were alone…” I paused, swallowing hard as I remembered the way my
cheek stung from that night. “He slapped me across the face. He told me never
to correct him like that in public—or ever. He was so loud and so angry that I
just told him ‘okay’ so that he’d stop.”
“That doesn’t sound like
Michael…” Becky said, her tone doubtful.
“Maybe not the Michael you
know,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye. “It got so much worse than that,
though.”
“Maybe you’re just making
it seem worse than it was,” she said,