Diary of an Ugly Duckling Read Online Free PDF Page B

movie worth its
    salt. Audra had just counted one, two, three in her
    mind when Warden Woodburn said:
    “So yesterday, there was an incident in the day
    room. Or rather, a couple of incidents,” he corrected,
    pale lips curving into something like a smile. “One
    involving a couple of inmates in a scuffle . . . and
    the other involving . . .” he coughed a little, as
    though suddenly uncomfortable. “Shall we call
    it . . . uh . . . a wardrobe malfunction?”
    Wardrobe malfunction. Am I ever going to live this
    down? Audra wondered as, once again, a prickly
    embarrassment warmed her cheeks and neck. She
    could almost hear her mother in her mind ( What
    must he think of you? ) as Woodburn averted his face
    from hers as if to spare her shame. She cut her eyes
    toward Bradshaw, but got nothing but a stoic profile,
    so there was nothing to do for it but sit up a little
    straighter and make the most of it, the only way she
    knew how. She settled her fist on her hip and leaned
    forward.
    “Both were contained according to procedure,
    sir,” she wisecracked, wiggling a bit and keeping
    the Mae West purr in her voice.
    Woodburn chuckled a little and Audra whipped
    DIARY OF AN UGLY DUCKLING
    35
    her head toward Art Bradshaw to gauge his reaction.
    Nothing but his profile. Still.
    “You’re funny, Marks,” the deputy warden told
    the folder. “Humor’s a helpful quality in our profes-
    sion, within limits, of course. But unfortunately . . .”
    his eyes snapped to her face again. “One of the in-
    mates involved . . . a Mr. Haines . . . has filed a brutal-
    ity complaint. Apparently he was injured yesterday.
    Broken ribs, it appears . . .”
    Both humor and Hollywood died the moment the
    word brutality hit the air.
    “A brutality complaint? Against me?”
    “A brutality complaint. Against you,” Woodburn
    repeated. “Haines alleges you violated his civil
    rights and caused him personal injury when you
    lifted him bodily off the floor then threw him
    against a table—”
    “Threw him against a table!” Audra shook her
    head, astonished. “I was breaking up a fight—a fight
    he probably started!” She peered toward Wood-
    burn’s folder. “Does it say that in there? Because
    there were about two dozen witnesses.” She nodded
    in Bradshaw’s direction. “Officer Bradshaw can tell
    you—”
    Woodburn lifted his hand, stopping the rest of the
    explanation tumbling form Audra’s lips. “He al-
    ready has, Officer Marks. In fact, he says your con-
    duct was exemplary, both in dealing with the
    inmates involved in the altercation, and in handling
    the . . . uh . . . wardrobe malfunction. But I’m not the
    one who has to be convinced,” he continued briskly.
    “I’m sure Mr. Haines’s charges will be dismissed in
    36
    Karyn Langhorne
    short order. But Haines is within his rights to file it,
    and, as you know, it will have to be investigated by
    the Internal Review Board—”
    Charges? Internal Review? Me? Audra swallowed
    back an A to Z catalog of emotions: from anger to the
    zealous desire to wring Princeton Haine’s sneaky,
    scrawny neck. Only that would be police brutality, now,
    wouldn’t it? wisecracked a voice in her head, and for
    a wild half-second, Audra wasn’t sure she would be
    able to stop herself from laughing—knowing full
    well that if the laughter started, the tears wouldn’t
    be too far behind.
    “But sir, it’s a waste of their time!” Audra insisted.
    “It’s utterly groundless—”
    Woodburn raised his silencing hand again. “I
    know this is frustrating, Marks, but that’s procedure
    and we’re going to follow it to the letter,” he said,
    and his nonexistent lips disappeared that much
    deeper into his face. “The rules require that any offi-
    cer accused of misconduct toward an inmate be re-
    moved from duty until a cause/no cause inquiry is
    completed, so you’re officially on administrative leave
    pending resolution of the investigation. Shouldn’t
    be more than a