Determinant -Guardians of Vesturon [3] Read Online Free PDF

out for me,” he said petulantly.
    “Oh Tommy, I only wish that were true. Everyone, including me, needs someone to look out for them. It’s important that you do that for each other. You got it?”
    “But January, who’ll look out for you?” Tommy asked.
    Oh crap…I cannot cry now. No way!
    I swallowed the ginormous lump in my throat and tried for a few seconds to speak as I fought to stop my lower lip from trembling. I was finally able to push back the surge of tears and I squeaked, “Well, I’m hoping my new roommates will. And I’ll look out for them in return.”
    My beautiful, precious siblings looked at me with their guileless eyes and it nearly split my heart in two. The thought of leaving them forever was the knife that was shredding my heart into pieces. I took a deep shuddering breath to calm myself. I just couldn’t let myself break down in their presence but I was having great difficulty keeping it at bay.
    “So, I want you two to behave and mind Mom and Dad. But most importantly, look out for each other. I love you two and I promise to write you as often as I can.”
    I heard a creak and looked up to see my mother storming out of the front door with daggers in her eyes. Her thoughts assaulted me in rapid succession… Freaky thing…what is she doing here…I wish she would just disappear. They went on and on to the point I had to close my mind to them. They were making me ill.
    “What are you doing here?” her voice dripping with hatred.
    “I stopped by to say hello to Tommy and Sarah,” I mumbled. I was numb from her vile thoughts and the iciness of her tone. I couldn’t believe she was treating me like this in front of the kids.
    “Tommy, Sarah, in the house… now !”
    “That won’t be necessary. I was just leaving.”
    I darted a look at the kids and they were so confused I reached out my arms to hug them one last time and tell them everything was fine.
    “Don’t you dare touch them! Just…get out of here and don’t ever come back.”
    I staggered backwards from the vehemence of her hatred. She had always been a passive woman, not saying much of anything. I was told she abhorred me, but I hadn’t let myself believe it. I knew it was the truth now. Her tone and actions conveyed it all to me. She despised me...bottom line.
    “I love you two…more than I can ever tell you.” I blew them a kiss and smiled.
    “Tommy, Sarah, in the house I said. N ow !” she yelled at them.
    They scurried to the porch and disappeared inside.
    “That wasn’t really necessary, was it?” I whispered.
    “Yes. It was. You are an abomination and I want you gone from here. Now!”
    “Why didn’t you abort me when you were pregnant?” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
    She cocked her head and was silent for a second. Her eyes seared me as she said, “That was the biggest mistake of my life and every day I regret my decision to not end that pregnancy.” She spun and went inside, leaving me standing in the driveway, mouth agape. The brutality of her words made everything I had previously felt pale in comparison.
    My body felt as though it had been physically abused. I dragged my battered and beaten self into my car and drove until my tears blinded me, forcing me to pull over. I stopped at a wooded park and sat in the parking lot for I’m not quite sure how long. I lost track of time.
    When the bone-crushing pain of her words began to recede, I drove back to the Campbell’s. They immediately knew something was wrong.
    “I’d rather not talk about it. Please excuse me. I think I’ll go to bed now,” I mumbled, my face etched with pain.
    I stumbled into bed and cried myself to sleep, telling myself things would be better the next day. I was wrong. Eventually the stark pain of my mother’s words began to dissipate, and I ultimately came to terms with the fact that I had been raised by two people that hated me. It was a horrific feeling, but at least I knew the truth.

 

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