Defiance (Rise of the Iliri Book 3) Read Online Free PDF

person, but you can pass for human if you choose.  I don't have that luxury, not with these ears – but I don't plan on sleeping with him if that's what you're worried about.  I'm certainly not going to have kids with him!"  She clenched her jaw.  "And you're not going to get out of this by talking about our mission.  I just can't believe you're this upset because I don't want to get pregnant!"
    "Sal," he sighed.  "It's na that.  I mean, I see ya ever' day, I watch ya sleep, I can na help but see ya laugh, or growl, or any of the other amazing things ya do.  I can na help how I feel 'bout ya none, but I can stop what I do 'bout it.  If ya do na think I'm good 'nough fer ya, then I'll mind my place.  That's all I've been doing."
    Her jaw dropped.  "But you are!" 
    Why did she always screw things up when it came to men?  Cyno had a strange sense of honor, having been raised as an iliri.  Her own upbringing was by humans – as their slave – and she only had her instincts to drive her actions.  So many years of conditioning made her act more human in some ways than her partner, regardless of his mixed ancestry, but this was the first time she just couldn't understand him.  Sadly, her instincts were always wrong when it came to her lovelife.
    "Did I do something wrong?  Jase, I didn't mean to!"
    "Nah, Sal.  That's na the problem.  It's that I want all of ya, and I can na have it."  He glanced over at her, embarrassment on his face.  "Ya saw the pups.  I could na help but think how beautiful ya looked holding 'em.  I called ya my wife earlier.  For the first time in my life, I want somethan humans do.  I wanna be yer mate, but I am na, and ya made that real clear." 
    "What?  How?"  She had no idea how he'd come to that conclusion.
    Under his breath, he growled.  "I promised ta Blaec that I'd keep ya from going feral, but I think it's me.  I think I'm the feral one.  I can na touch ya, Sal, na if I ever wanna stop, so I just do na start."
    "Jase," she said, reaching out to touch his arm lightly.  "When have I ever made it about a choice between the two of you?"
    "Never," he whispered.
    She bit at her lips seeking the words to make him understand.  "Not wanting children has nothing to do with who sires them.  I would have kicked Blaec out of my tent, too.  It's just this damned war.  I don't want to have my child sold off as a slave.  That's it .  Besides, I thought you were ok with being my second man?"
    "I am," he said, finally looking at her eyes.  "But will ya answer somethan honestly for me?"
    "Ok?"
    "Is this all we're ever gonna be?  Am I allus gonna be jus' yer second man?  Are we ever gonna be more than jus' partners ta slack the 'lust?"
    She glanced away, thinking about that.  The road continued to pass in silence, but he didn't press her.  It would be so easy to say yes, but she owed him more than that.  Jase was her other half, the person she trusted above all else.  Unfortunately, that didn't mean she knew the answer to his question.
    "Can I tell you something?" she asked, breaking the silence.
    He nodded cautiously.
    "He's never opened his mind to me.  Not like you do.  He's like two men inside, part Blaec, part LT.  You've never been like that."
    "Is it the mystery then?"
    "No, nothing like that.  Rather the opposite, actually."  She sighed, knowing she could admit her deepest secret to Jase if no one else.  "I've found myself reaching out with my mind when we're, you know."
    "Yeh," he said, not wanting to hear her speak of intimacies with their commander.
    "Yeah, but that's the thing, Jase."  She glanced away.  This time, it was her turn to speak to the road.  "I'm not reaching for him.  It's not his mind I keep seeking."
    Before he could respond, she kneed Arden into a canter.  The spotted mare moved out easily, leaping through the snow on the road.  He let her go, a smile on his face. 
    She couldn't believe she'd just told him that.  In her most intimate