Deep Longing (Bend to My Will #4) Read Online Free PDF

where she snuggled against him and closed her eyes. Jacob buried his face in Vivienne’s hair, breathing in her scent. Before falling asleep, he softly whispered her name.
     

 
    Chapter 4
    After Vivienne left the next morning, Jacob went for a run. She went back to her apartment to get dressed, and organized for work. Even while she’d stayed at the penthouse, he’d gone for early runs, while Vivienne had still been sleeping.
    Jacob followed his usual route through the park, enjoying the moderate temperature and low humidity. That wouldn’t last, as by midsummer, he’d be soaked with sweat during a run. The trees were lush, and the grass a vibrant shade of green. The morning sun warmed the sky, burning away the coolness of the night.
    The run gave Jacob some fresh air and a bit of freedom. It was during such workouts that he often came up with ideas for his company or solutions to issues. But he wasn’t in business mode yet. Vivienne had just left, and her presence still lingered.
    As Jacob reflected about his concern over Vivienne’s welfare, he was relieved that he had the sense to change the agreement. She would call if needed, alleviating any worry. But there was a bigger issue that needed his attention.
    The relationship had changed, and Jacob was largely responsible for that. Letting Vivienne sleep in his bed, and enjoy privileges that any other submissive wouldn’t be allowed, clouded the arrangement with tones of romance. A submissive should sleep in her room, or, if disobedient, on a mat on the floor.
    Sleeping in the master’s bed was not permitted. Jacob had stuck to that rule, strictly, until Vivienne. But there was no going back. Having welcomed her in his arms at night, it would be no easy matter to reverse that decision.
    Yet such intimate moments gave Vivienne the wrong impression. Jacob couldn’t blame her for envisioning a different sort of relationship than they had. After all, he had taken her on dates, then shared the playroom with her, which sent conflicting messages.
    Then there was the kissing. In a moment of weakness, Jacob had given in to the urge to kiss Vivienne. And what a kiss it had been. His lips tingled at the memory of her soft lips on his. Such an act thwarted his ability to keep her at arm’s length.
    Jacob had to be able to deny her when necessary. How he planned to do that when she affected him so was in question. Calling it a mistake didn’t resolve anything. The problem was that he didn’t want to give up kissing, and that disturbed him the most.
    The truth, if Jacob cared to face it, was that he preferred falling asleep with Vivienne close. And he had no intention of abstaining from kissing now that he’d had a taste of it. Reconciling his role as dominant with such desires was disconcerting.
    Jacob’s heart sank when he thought of what he was leading Vivienne to believe. He wasn’t the right man for her, except in the playroom. Romance, dating, and relationships had not gone well for him in the past. He wasn’t cut out for sentimentality.
    Although Jacob had taken precautions to keep the darkness he harbored away from Vivienne, his recent behavior might prove to be his undoing. Intimacy drew a woman closer, when what he needed was to maintain distance. She didn’t need to know about his past, or see inside him. Nor did he want her to.
    The fact was that Jacob was setting Vivienne up for disappointment, and the way they were going, it would be a big one. He agonized over that. It wasn’t right. But he was greedy, and didn’t easily turn away from what he wanted.
    And Jacob wanted Vivienne: to hold her, to kiss her, and to wake up with her in his bed. His conscience weighed heavy with such things, since in the end he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. As long as they stuck to the playroom, he was on high ground.
    But now that Jacob had descended into emotion and desire, he was at a loss. There was no simple way to blend the two, since they were in opposition. In