before you make the team, let alo ne the practice summer session. I’ve seen swimmers come and go, and sure, you’re one of the best I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t mean…”
“It’s OK, Coach. I already know I’m making the team.”
“Wow, you won’t listen to anything or anyone, will you?”
I shake my head with a smile on my face.
“Just try to wip e that cocky smile off your face during the meet, for your own sake. The Olympics is ser ious, and the USA team doesn’t tolerate your kinds of shenanigans .”
That’s not what I’ve heard about the recent Olympic teams. They seem like they’re even bigger party animals than I am.
“I’ve got a job for you, Anchor. And you’ve got to do it if you want to stay on the t eam. ”
“What, you’re going to make me clean the fi lters again, and add the chlorine in the pool every morning?” That’s exactly what coach made me do last time I got into trouble. In the end, it wasn’t so bad. I managed to convince Dave to wake up at 4 in the morning and do it for me. As punishments go, it didn’t work out so bad.
“There’s some kind of student reporter, a senior, who wants to do a piece on the swim team.”
“Finally,” I say. “It’s about time they did an article on me, the best swimmer the college has ever had.”
“One of t he best,” says coach, emphasizing ‘one.’ “And no, she’s not doing a story on you, you arrogant prick. She’s doing a story on the whole swim team. You’re not the only one doing good work, Anchor. Anyway, I get the feeling she’s trying to paint us in a bad light. I had a weird feeling from her this morning when she came into my office, so I did a little digging, and read through most of the articles she’s written for the paper. They’re all available on the web site. I’d suggest you read them, but I know you can’t be bothered too much with reading. It’s too taxing for your pretty little thick skulled head.”
I shake my head. No, reading some boring articles is definitely not how I want to spend my time.
“Anyway, this is your punishment: You’re going to spend time with her. Show her the ropes. She doesn’t know anything about sports, let alone swimming. I know from her articles that she doesn’t have a good attitude towards sports at all. She’s one of these academic types that wants to paint us all as idiotic jocks. She hasn’t minced her words in the past, and I’m sure she’s already drafting up a scorching report on the swim team. You’re going to trail her, keep an eye on her, whatever you want to call it. Don’t let her get far from you at all.”
“But why me, coach? I’m probably just the sort of cocky jock she hates, right?”
Coach nods his head. “That’s true, Anchor, and we all k now you’re a real son of a bitch with a big head. But I’ll even admit that you’ve got a certain special charisma. And you’ve got a way with the ladies. But! And I’m warning you. Do not sleep with her! Whatev er you do, don’t sleep with her. I know how muc h the girls like you, and that’ s what we’re going for here. I want her to like you, and to write up a favorable article about us. But once you sleep with them, everything always goes down hill. You just can’t keep to one girl. If you pull this off, we’re going to get a lot more money for the team.”
“But coach…” I don’t know how to say what it is I want to say.
“I know what you’re going to say, Anchor. You’re a selfish bastard by nature, right? What’s in it for you if you’re going to graduate soon and move on to bigger things, right?”
I don’t answer, but coach can read it in my face. That’s exactly what I’m thinking.
“Here’s the deal, Anchor. You do this well, and the article comes out good, and I’ll put in a good word for you with the Olympic scout. If you fuck it all up, then no Olympics for you, I’ll make sure of that.”
My mouth is ha nging open. I don’t know what to say.