Deep Down (Lockhart Brothers #1) Read Online Free PDF

don’t want to overstep. I just want to make sure you know you’ve got options. If money is an issue—”
    “Do you mean abortion?”
    She gave a small nod of acknowledgement. “I know this is a difficult, overwhelming time for you. I don’t want to make it worse. But do what’s best for you, Ivy. No one but you knows what that is. Maybe you aren’t even sure right now.”
    “I got a full scholarship to Stanford,” I said softly. “You’re the only person I’ve told about that.”
    April’s face broke into an excited grin.
    “Ivy! What an accomplishment. That’s amazing. Congratulations!”
    “Thanks. Please don’t tell anyone, because I’m turning it down.”
    Her happy expression morphed into one of concern. “You don’t have to decide that right now. Take some time—”
    “I already know. I can’t take a baby to Stanford. There’s no way.”
    April brushed the crumbs from her hands and passed me a chocolate chip cookie. “You have options, though.”
    I smiled, grateful to be talking about this with someone. “Before my mom had me, she had two miscarriages. When she was so sick and the doctors said she might not make it, she . . .” I cleared my throat, the image of my mom in the hospital bed still bringing me to tears. “She got this warm, happy look in her eyes when I was holding her hand and she said she knew it was the end. That she loved me and wanted to stay with me, but it wasn’t meant to be. And that she’d finally get to meet her other two babies.”
    “Oh, Ivy.” Tears shone in April’s eyes, too.
    “She loved those babies. And I love mine. I don’t judge people who make other decisions but, for me, there is no decision. I wasn’t planning on being a parent yet, but I’m going to be, and I’ll never be a parent who hurts my child.”
    April sighed deeply. “My heart feels heavy, Ivy. I know enough about you to know something’s not right. Don’t be afraid to speak the truth. No matter what, no matter who.”
    “I just want to move forward. And you’re helping me do that.”
    We switched to lighter talk about music and the weather. But in the back of my mind, I was still thinking about our earlier conversation.
    As much as I wanted my dad to answer for what he did, I couldn’t expose myself to the shame of everyone knowing the truth. Only he and I knew what had happened between us, and only I knew about the pregnancy. And I planned to keep it that way.

AFTER MOVING IN WITH April, I found my way out from under the dark cloud I’d been living under. I could sleep peacefully at night. I still had the dreams, but they rarely woke me up. Her tiny guest room with a single bed and desk was my little slice of heaven. I was safe there.
    I’d left my dad a one line note telling him I was moving out. I put my cell phone next to the note with all the contacts deleted, both because I no longer wanted the phone he was paying for and because I didn’t want him to have a way to reach me.
    April would always greet me with a good morning when I wandered into her kitchen after my shower. She’d ask me how my day was shaping up and we’d talk about hers. We’d watch movies and go grocery shopping together. She went to my doctor’s appointments with me and she was an amazing support. Having her in my life had helped me banish the thought of walking off a cliff.
    Even school felt survivable now. I had lunch in April’s classroom every day, rode home with her after school and brushed off the rumors that I’d moved in with her because of our lesbian relationship.
    My only invite to prom was from an asshole on the football team who asked in the middle of English class if I’d go with him so he could get laid with no fear of getting me pregnant. I was just two months away from graduation, and though I told myself I could get through anything at this point, the snickers from people whom I used to think were friends still burned.
    For prom night, April and I wore the circa-1985 taffeta