Deceive (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #2) Read Online Free PDF

probably just itching to mutter those four fucking words.
    “Because I fucking love her. I always have, and I—I was running scared of that.” Once I’d opened my mouth to start, the words escaped me in a rush.
    There was a beat of silence on the other end.
    “Just say it already,” I said, to break the silence. Even though phone sessions weren’t ideal, I was actually a little relieved not to have to see his expression. Although if I closed my eyes, I could easily imagine the smug smile that had to be lifting the ends of his moustache.
    “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
    “Yeah, right. You know you’re itching to say it.”
    “It would be highly unprofessional.”
    “Fuck professional. Say the words. I dare you.”
    A chuckle echoed down the line. “I told you so.”
    I laughed. “See, doesn’t that make you feel better?”
    His laughter grew in response. “You really are in a good mood today aren’t you?”
    “I guess.” I started randomly cleaning shit up in my room, pinning the phone between my shoulder and my cheek. Each time I bent over, a new pain shot across my chest. It was starting to become clear that Mum was definitely right—I needed to see an actual doctor before long.
    “Why do you think that is?” Dr. Henrikson pressed. “What’s so special about today?”
    “Today is the first day of the rest of my life?” I couldn’t even say the words with a straight face. “Isn’t that the sort of shit I’m supposed to spout in these sessions?”
    “You know you can say anything you want with me, it’s just between us.”
    “I just . . . I don’t know. I feel like something’s shifted in the universe, know what I mean?”
    “Go on.”
    “I’ve had the week from hell and yet I’ve survived. More than that, I know what I want now, and I’m ready to claim it.”
    “Do you think you deserve it?”
    “Fuck no. No one deserves Alyssa, especially not me, especially not after what I’ve put her through. She’s too good for every fucking person on this planet. But I want to work toward the possibility of maybe deserving her one day.”
    “It’s not good to hold people up on pedestals, Declan. The higher you hold them in your regard, the further they have to fall when something goes awry.”
    “Yeah, but you haven’t met Alyssa.”
    “No. But I’d like to if this is the influence she has on you.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Well, first there is the mood. You sound happier than I’ve heard you. Ever. And second, you’ve said a total of six cuss words the entire conversation. I used to be able to count that many per sentence.”
    Well, fuck me. Am I that obvious? “I guess she’s calming me a bit. Although I think I may have screwed up last night. I don’t really remember.”
    He sighed. “Tell me all about it.”
    So I did.

 
    CHAPTER THREE: WALK AWAY
     
    I HUNG UP the phone and took a minute to recap in my mind the conversation I’d just had with Dr. Henrikson. I’d expected him to ask me probing questions about why I was in Brisbane, why I wanted to talk to him daily, and mostly why I was drinking to excess again.
    Instead, he simply listened as I told him the little I could remember about the previous night, then he questioned me about random stuff. What the weather was like, how long I was planning on staying in Brisbane; he never asked a single question about Alyssa and me. I was actually glad for it. I knew I needed to talk to him about my drinking, about Emmanuel and Phoebe, and Alyssa and everything else that was happening in my life. I hadn’t wanted to go into an in-depth analysis during our first phone call after the way my last session had ended.
    I didn’t relish the idea of going over the twelve months that had passed in the meantime either. He seemed to sense that, or perhaps he just knew better than I did that I needed time to broach those subjects. He was the fucking shrink after all, and a highly recommended one at that. That’s why