That's right. Can't stand it. Well, maybe it's not the job I hate so much. It's not taxing work. It can be really pleasant at times but the thing is, I really can't stand Ted Nepaul, my supervisor. Maybe he is the one that is causing my dreams to come back. He is certainly fearsome and hostile enough to cause me nightmares.
He makes me mad. He is pompous and arrogant and he can't stand me either. I seem to rub him the wrong way because I can't speak but mostly because of how I got the job.
You see, when I was younger and living at Magnolia House, Patricia Benedict took a special interest in us, the girls of Bungalow Seven. She considers herself our honorary mother and she has always looked out for us. We were the envy of all the other girls at the home because of it.
We have even gone to her house in the hills. We've swum in her pool, played tennis and board games with her. She loves us and over the years I think that she has seriously considered adopting us officially but she has a husband who doesn't like kids. He tolerates us but he just doesn't want any children around. I think Patricia is so dedicated to Magnolia House and to us especially because we are the only outlet for her to do some mothering.
Anyway, I got the job at the supermarket because of her. Her family owns the supermarket too. The Benedicts have business everywhere and they are really wealthy. Ted Nepaul hates that I know a Benedict and have connections to such a family. I have overheard him calling me names like handicapped, etc. I still can't adjust to the hostility that I feel coming from him. It is so malignant and uncalled for.
I am not used to hostility, believe it or not. Sure, I have always been an oddity because I cannot speak and I have the scar on my neck, but the people around me have always seemed to accept it. Sure, strangers stare and the bold ones will ask questions but people get used to me after a while.
It feels odd that I am not liked because of my tenuous connection to the Benedicts, and it feels odd to hear myself being referred to as handicapped. I am mute, not handicapped.
There is a difference, you know? I can do everything but talk. Handicapped suggests incapacitation and I am fine otherwise.
I wish I could talk but it could be worse. I could be deaf or blind or lame or all of them together.
It's laughable that Ted Nepaul resents me. I am sure that he knows where he is from and he has family and he knows his real birth date and he has all of his memories intact. I bet you are from an interesting heritage. You have dark skin and real gray eyes. I knew your eyes are real. I bet you are a real down-to-earth guy, too. The girls at the supermarket were speculating that you are married.
I was down for the whole day when I thought about it but I have a theory. If you were married you would not be coming to the supermarket alone all the time and you would be buying enough food for two.
So my hope is restored that you are single but I am sure that it won't be for long. Which sucks for me because I like thinking that you are single and available and one day we'll meet, and you will find that you like me, and we will get to know each other, and then we'll get married, and then we'll live happily ever after--like in one of Hazel's romance books.
When we meet we could have our first date at the Luminous Lagoon in Falmouth. I know it's far but I have been dying to go. The waters are said to light up around you in the night. I want to see it so badly. It sounds magical. My friend Mike wanted me to go with him but I think I'd want to go with you instead. It would be more meaningful somehow. And on our way back from Falmouth we could listen to eighties music and then we could talk and talk and talk until daybreak...that sounds perfect.
Della drew a heart beside perfect and put down the pen. She was a case of arrested development. It was Saturday night. She shouldn't be home alone writing in her journal and fantasizing about a