Dead Funny

Dead Funny Read Online Free PDF

Book: Dead Funny Read Online Free PDF
Author: Tanya Landman
opposite the kitchen. “As you can see, you have your own entrance. I’ll leave you a key so you can come and go as you please. I do hope you’ll find everything you need. If not, please don’t hesitate to give me a call. The telephones by your beds connect straight through to my office.”
    My mind was racing, but when I saw the guest rooms all thoughts of crime and punishment were driven out of my head. Downstairs the lounge was as big as a tennis court, with a television the size of a cinema screen. A spiral staircase led up to three massive bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. I bagged the one overlooking the courtyard, and Graham took the one next to mine while Mum opted for the one across the landing, which had a view over the grounds. Sylvia, after ensuring that we had everything we could possibly want, marched away.
    I had a foaming bubble bath in a tub so vast there was a serious danger of me drowning. I dried myself on a towel so plush it felt as if it had been woven from clouds, then sank into a bed that resembled an enormous pink marshmallow.
    Sleep came almost at once. But just before blackness overwhelmed me I wondered how Sylvia had managed to come in so promptly at the end of our interview. No one had called her, after all. Had she been sitting in our place by the open window in the kitchen? And had she heard everything we’d said?

full english breakfast
    I slept solidly for fourteen hours and probably would have carried on sleeping if Mum hadn’t woken me up the following morning.
    Wafting a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice under my nose, she said, “Come on Poppy, love. Graham’s up and about already. A new day, a new challenge, and all that. The sun’s shining.”
    “What?” I sat up, squinting at her. “You seem very cheerful.”
    “Sylvia’s been here,” replied Mum. “She brought us breakfast, see?” She lifted a tray holding a plate of bacon, eggs and sausages and put it on my lap. “A full English,” she enthused. “The complete works! It’s enough to put a smile on anyone’s face.”
    I took a sip of juice and asked, “What happens now? Do we have to go home?”
    “No,” Mum replied. “Apparently we have to stay here as long as the police are investigating. Sylvia says I might as well go ahead and draw up the designs. It will give me something to do, at any rate.”
    “OK,” I said. “So you’re going to be busy all day?”
    “Yes. But you can help if you like.”
    I shook my head firmly: plants weren’t nearly as interesting as people.
    “Well,” said Mum. “Sylvia says there’s a pool at the far side of the house that you’re welcome to use. There’s the TV downstairs and she’s left a whole stack of DVDs. Or you could explore the grounds…”
    “We’ll do that,” I said.
    “No sneaking around, though,” warned Mum. “You heard what that policeman said. It was an accident, remember? Don’t go sticking your nose in and upsetting people.”
    “Me?” I said. “As if.” I tried to look innocent and Mum went off with a pen and notebook to survey the gardens.
    Graham came in to keep me company while I finished my breakfast.
    “What do we do first?” he said.
    Crunching a piece of crispy bacon I considered the matter. “Swim,” I decided. “I like the sound of that pool. And then we’ll search the grounds.”
    “What for? Clues? I would think it’s highly improbable that we’d find something that the police have missed.”
    “They reckon it’s an accident.” I stuffed a piece of sausage in my mouth. “They probably haven’t looked properly. I want to work out how that man got in.”
    “The one with the blazer?”
    “Yes. Of course, he might have sneaked through the gates when Sylvia set off to pick us up.”
    “She’d have noticed him,” said Graham. “His clothes weren’t what you might call inconspicuous, were they?”
    “OK. So how did he get in then?” I asked.
    “Climbed over the wall?” suggested Graham.
    “His
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