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george romero,
Conspiracy Theory
beneath her buttoned shirt. As he
watched, one of the blisters on her cheek popped—he could hear it pop—and yellowish pus splattered across the woman’s
face.
“Jesus,” said someone from behind Jubal’s
right shoulder. It was Fiona.
“I thought I told you...”
The woman on the ground mumbled
something.
“What’d she say?” Fiona asked.
Jubal leaned his head closer.
“Dead army...” she hissed, then passed
out.
Dead army?
Was it some sort of military accident that
had caused this woman’s terrible disfigurement?
But then, everything clicked into place and
Jubal did not like the result: this woman, whoever she was,
obviously had an extreme case of the sickness that was spreading
throughout Serenity. He hoped to God his logic was inaccurate and
that it was something else entirely—anything else.
Jubal felt faint.
“We have to get this woman over to the
hospital in Carlsbad. Right away,” Fiona said.
Snapping out of his spiral of despair, Jubal
said, “Okay, but get the hell away from her, Fiona. Now!”
Fiona looked shocked for a second at Jubal’s
harsh outburst, but then moved away from the unconscious woman.
Jubal ran past the retreating Fiona, toward
his patrol car. As he passed the small group of gawking
townspeople, he shouted, “Stay away from that woman, godammit!”
He swung the car door open and plopped into
the driver’s seat, banging his head on the roof of the car in the
process.
“Fuck.”
Rubbing the pain in his forehead with one
hand, he called up the state police on the radio beneath the dash.
After several failed attempts, during what seemed like the longest
minutes of his life, he finally got someone. It wasn’t Dooley; the
voice told him Dooley had gone home sick. Jubal explained the
situation to the dispatcher.
“I’m sorry, deputy, but we’re short-handed
beyond belief. Everyone seems to have the flu lately...”
“Well, what can you do for me? This woman
doesn’t have long.”
“I’ll try patching you through to an
ambulance service.”
Jubal stared out the windshield as the
dispatcher put him through. The townspeople of Serenity stood
about, staring at the woman on the ground. With gratitude, Jubal
noticed that at least they were staying well away from the sick
woman. He felt awful for having abandoned her there on the ground
by herself, and wished there was some way he could help her. But he
had to think of the people who were still healthy, too.
His radio crackled.
“Man, if you’re looking for ambulance
service, you are fucked, buddy!”
Jubal punched the button.
“Who the hell is this?”
“Red-E Rescue Ambulance. And who in the name
of the sweet baby Jesus might I be speaking at?” The young man,
whoever he was, sounded drunk.
“This is the Mescalero County Sheriff’s
Department. We got a real sick lady in Serenity and we need a
transport now.”
The ambulance service dispatcher cackled.
Jubal clenched his teeth so hard his jaws made a popping sound.
“What’s so goddamn funny?”
“Well, I’ll explain it to you, officer—”
“Deputy.”
“—so listen careful like, so I only have to
talk to you once. See, even if I could get there, we would be faced
with a whopper of a dilemma, which is to say, where the fuck would
I fuckin’ take her?”
“What do you mean?”
“What I’m sayin’ is that there’s no room at
the inn. The hospital at Carlsbad is full up. More than full.
They’ve pitched tents on the lawn and they’re stackin’ ’em and
rackin’ ’em. Now ain’t that some crazy shit? And the punch line to
this particular joke is this: There ain’t nothin’ the docs can do.
I haul ’em in so somebody in a white coat and a mask over their
face can stand by with his thumb up the ol’ poop chute and watch
’em. It’s some ugly stuff, too. It starts out like the flu with a
fever and maybe a cough. Then the circus really comes to town. The
skin turns gray and they develop blisters on their faces.”
The