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that her conscience would trouble her. Chas had been ill and needing her, and she hadn't known. Why hadn't Julie told her? she asked herself almost despairingly, and then shook her head at her own foolishness. Julie would have been obeying orders.
    Chas would have wanted her to return to Stoniscliffe under her own steam, at her own wish. He wouldn't take kindly to any sort of pleading on his behalf from anyone. Not even from Dane.
    So that was yet another secret she had to keep, because Chas had never known the real reason why she had left Stoniscliffe in the first place, and that was the most important secret of all. No one knew the truth except herself, and the man who had just left her crouched, trembling like a child, in a corner of her own sofa.
    She went across to the telephone and dialled Jos's number. Myra answered almost at once, and her voice bubbled down the phone as she recognised Lisa.
    'Did you enjoy the trip? Are you worn out? Come to supper tomorrow night and tell me your version.'
    'I'd love to, but I can't.' Lisa hesitated. 'Is he in a good mood, Myra?'
    'Fair to middling. Why, is there something wrong?'
    'In a way. I have to go away for a few weeks, that's all.'
    'That'll be enough,' Myra said blankly. 'What's happened?' She paused. 'You're not—ill or anything?'
    Lisa guessed the real question behind the tactful words. 'No, nothing like that. I have to go up north to organise a family wedding. My stepsister is getting married, and there's a panic on.'
    She could hear Myra talking to someone at the other end, her voice muffled and then Jos spoke.
    He said sharply, 'What is all this. Lisa? Myra says you're going up north. You have to be joking!'
    'I wish I were.' Lisa rapidly explained about the wedding. 'But there's more to it than that,' she went on. 'I've just found out that my stepfather had a stroke at some time, and that he wants to see me.'
    'Oh, hell!' Jos was silent for a moment. 'You realise that all this couldn't be happening at a worse time.'
    'Please believe that if I could get out of going, I would,' she said unhappily. 'But they're all the family I've got, and I owe them a great deal. Certainly I owe them this.'
    'Then obviously you must go, but for heaven's sake get back as soon as you can. They have short memories in this game,' he said grimly. He paused. 'You said they were all the family you've got. Wasn't there a brother as well? I seem to remember Dinah mentioning him.'
    'There was and there is,' she said. 'But I don't regard him as a brother. It was Julie I grew up with.'
    'Lucky Julie,' Jos commented. 'Tell the stepfather he did a good job. And phone me as soon as you get back.'
    'That's a promise,' Lisa said, and replaced her receiver. Her hand was sweating slightly and she wiped it down the skirt of her dressing gown.
    She would have to write to Dinah and she could pay Airs Hargreaves and give her any necessary instructions in the morning. There was no great problem there.
    The towering, the insuperable, the shattering difficulty was getting through, firstly, tomorrow, and then the days after that. If it hadn't been for the wedding she might have been able to do a deal—to say to Dane, 'I want to go back. I want to see Chas, to spend some time with him, and I'll do it on the understanding that you go and stay far away from Stoniscliffe while I'm there.'
    But because of Chas's paralysis, Dane was going to give Julie away. He had to be there, and so there was no bargain to be struck.
    Not that Dane struck bargains anyway, she thought. He made decisions and carried them through to his own advantage. If he negotiated, he expected to be on the winning side, and generally was. She had never seen him bested by anyone, although at one time she had dreamed dreams of doing it herself. But not any more. He had shown her brutally and finally that against him, she could not win, and she still had the emotional scars to prove it.
    But she wasn't going to think about that now. She couldn't let