Dark Season: The Complete Box Set Read Online Free PDF

make-up, black lipstick, black nails, black fingerless gloves... spot a pattern here? And he has this annoying habit of quoting Edgar Allan Poe during conversations, and that's just about the only contribution he has to make. Oh, and he drinks pint after pint of cider; he says Muse and Rage Against the Machine are the future of music; he's wearing a Rammstein T-shirt, and he's going to get a tattoo next week but he hasn't decided the details but he's open to suggestions. No-one gives him any suggestions, so he asks what I think he should get as a tattoo, and I just shrug. He tries again, and then he keeps on talking even though I'm definitely not listening and even Shelley, who obviously wants to fuck him, looks like she's zoning out. Yeah, a real vampire...
    "What's your name again?" he shouts over the music.
    "Sophie," I shout back.
    "Cool," he says, before taking a big gulp of cider. Since when do vampires drink cider?
    Bored, I decide to bite. "So you're a vampire?" I ask.
    "You might think that," he says. "I couldn't possibly comment."
    "How's that working out for you?"
    "Bloody brilliant!"
    "What's your name?" I ask.
    "Rob," he says. "But I have various aliases."
    "Let me guess," I say. "You write poetry?"
    "Yeah," he says. "I'm inspired by -"
    "His poetry's amazing," says Shelley, butting in, looking a little concerned that she's being excluded. What I really want to do is talk to Shelley about what's happened to me, to tell her about Patrick. But she's more interested in this Rob guy than in anything I could tell her, and she'd never believe me anyway.
    As Shelley and Rob carry on flirting, I zone out of the conversation. I like Shelley a lot, and we've been friends for years. She's got a good heart, but she always picks wretched, rancid guys to date, fuck or pine over. And this Rob guy, the so-called vampire, seems to be the latest example. First off, he should go back to the store where he bought all his make-up and vampire clothes: he forgot to pick up a personality while he was there.
    I suddenly realize that Shelley has stopped talking, and she and Rob are waiting for me to say something. After a moment of uncomfortable silence between the three of us, Shelley puts her arms around Rob the vampire, and then she grabs his glass of cider and takes a sip. Pretty desperate.
    I open my mouth to say something inane...
    "Hey Rob," Shelley says, "Let's go find a room. You can read me some of your poetry." She steers him out of the room, winking at me as they go. I know what's going to end up happening there. I just hope she uses protection this time. I really don't need to spend another Friday morning keeping her company at a clinic on the other side of town.
    I stay at the party for a while, but I'm bored and by 1am I realize Shelley probably isn't coming back for me at all, so I go and grab my jacket from the sofa where some asshole is sitting on it, and I have to damn near pull it from under him because when I ask him to move his butt he seems to think I'm flirting. But I don't flirt. I can't flirt. I've tried it in the past and it always ends up being... regressive.
    On the way out I look for a bathroom but I accidentally go into a bedroom, where I just so happen to find Rob and Shelley on the bed.
    Shelley has her top and her bra pulled down, with her breasts exposed, and Mr. Vampire is sucking on her left nipple. As I watch, Shelley looks over at me and she has this really curious look in her eyes, like nothing I've seen before, like she's barely aware of what the idiot's doing with her breasts and all her attention is focused on me. I like it, it's flattering. And then, slowly but very deliberately, Shelley reaches out one hand to me, as if she wants me to join them.
    For a moment - just a moment - I think about it. After all, why not? I'm not attracted to Rob, obviously, and I'm definitely not attracted to Shelley, but messing around with them at least seems like something fun to do with my bruised and battered